Cupid's Chokehold
by Let Love In
Summary: Gill couldn't be happier when his father, Mayor Hamilton, is ready to retire. And the best part: Gill's running unopposed for the position of mayor! But what happens when his father decides he must marry before he takes the 'throne? GillxAngela
1. Damn

**A/N: Yay, new story! I'm quite excited to write this one, just because I love to manipulate Gill's character (but I love him!) and I thought this idea would be perfect! If you're a fan of "You're Awful, I Love You", don't worry, this one won't interfere (I've already got the first few chapters done anyways). Soo... Enjoy! By the way, the title is a Gym Class Heroes song... I really couldn't think of anything else to call it. Blah.**

The only thing that could be heard inside the Town Hall was the sound of me sighing. Over and over again. Today was possibly the slowest day in the history of all days. No one had come in and no one was getting out until we closed at five. Unfortunately, the only one here was me. Elli was sick, and my father had some sort of pointless errands to run. So here I was, alone, staring at the mahogany walls vacantly, counting the minutes until I could get out of here. One-hundred and eighty seven more minutes to go.

Drumming my fingers on my thigh, I sneakily propped my feet onto my desk and leaned back into my chair comfortably. It felt good to stretch, especially with no one around to pester me or talk to me. Almost as if on cue, the door opened.

"Helloooo?" A voice called into the Town Hall, causing me to jerk and topple backwards in my chair. So much for relaxation. The voice popped its brunette head of hair into the Town Hall and snickered uncontrollably.

"What happened to you?"

I could recognize that high-pitched, bothersome voice anywhere. It was Angela, the farmer that my father could _not_ stop talking about. As soon as we found out someone new was moving here last year, he wouldn't stop waddling around, saying 'Angela this' and 'a new beginning' that. It was sickening. Especially when she ended up single-handedly saving this island from becoming a good-for-nothing wasteland of droning people and a dwindling population. Now, it was almost like she was shoving it in my face. Sure, I had told her from the get go that she wouldn't do anything useful for Waffle Town, but that's beside the point.

"Just a little mishap." I rudely replied as I stood and brushed off my carefully ironed, plaid pants. She kept giggling. "Is that funny to you?"

"Quite. Anyways, where's Elli? I have to ask her a question." She asked in a boisterous manner, upsetting the silence in the Town Hall that resided just a few moments ago.

"Out sick." I stated curtly as I sat back down in my chair. She sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"Never mind, then. Unless, you know the answer to my question…?" She inquired, smirking slyly at me. I sighed.

"Nope."

"But I haven't even asked it yet."

"Okay, fine. Ask the question."

"Do you know-"

"Nope."

She groaned and clenched her fists violently at her side. I _loved _pushing her buttons. It had almost become a hobby of mine.

"You are such a snob." She muttered before pushing open the door. Back to the silence once again.

Okay, so I guess I wasn't doing the best job here at the Town Hall, especially if I wanted to become mayor soon. But it's not like my father was even around to hear that little conversation, so for now, I was in the clearing. Soon, my father would retire and leave me to the proverbial 'throne' of Waffle Town. And the best part was: no election! No one decided to run against me, and I was perfectly okay with that. Finally the royal subjects – er, I mean, citizens, would listen and follow my every rule. I smiled to myself at the idea.

I stared at the clock in agony, willing it to speed up but to no avail. My father told me that after work he needed to 'talk' to me, and that could only mean one thing: the mayor talk. I had been waiting for this for my whole life. It was only a matter of time before his time was over and my time would begin. So obviously, one could tell why I was so anxious to get out of this damned place. Even if he said he wouldn't be home until 5:30, a half hour after my shift ended.

When the clock struck five, I was already outside of the Town Hall, whistling the whole way. I had cleaned and packed up an hour early so I could just waltz out of the building.

Outside, I spotted Angela holding out an orange cake and giving it to Chase, a cook at the Inn. I rolled my eyes. That girl gives gifts to _every _bachelor in this town, probably hoping to win their hearts or something. Pfft. Half of them are already shacking up and getting ready to marry off. I laughed to myself as she skipped past Chase and ran right into Julius. She held up a finger to him and reached behind her, zipping open her rucksack and pulling out a pumpkin. I could hear Julius squeal.

That girl was pathetic. And no, I wasn't just saying that because I never got one measly present from her.

Sighing, I sat down on a bench in the Town Square and decided to relax for a little bit. Even if I had just spent my whole work day relaxing. There wasn't much to do, truthfully. At least, not a lot to do for someone like me. Let's face it, I didn't know and didn't plan to know half of the people in this town until I sealed my position as mayor. Then I would go around shaking hands and kissing babies and all that junk. But for now, I was actually content with being alone half of the time. It gave me loads of time to think. But right now, I didn't have a ton to think about.

So I stared straight ahead of me, looking out at Waffle Town. Seeing the people milling about, chatting and laughing with each other. Another thing that I did when I was alone was observe things. People, especially. It was quite interesting, seeing how one person could interact and seeing how someone else could interact in a completely different way. I stared blankly out at the town until I checked my wristwatch to see that it was already 5:30. Standing from the bench, I made my way towards my house quickly.

My nerves and jitters jumped inside of me as I reached the front door. _Here we go_, I thought to myself as I gripped the door handle and pushed it open. My father sat waiting for me inside.

"Hello, Gilbert." He greeted me with a goofy smile. I seethed outwardly. Oh, how I _loathed _my full name.

"I told you not to call me that," I replied as I made my way into the house and sat down on the couch.

"But that's your name, son," He began, but then decided to drop it. I always won that argument. "Anyways. I'm here to talk to you about becoming the mayor."

My insides did flip flops and somersaults as I smiled up at my father.

"Yes?" I asked in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"Well, you see. My position is very important, as you have noticed over the years. Being able to know what's going on at all times around this island is one asset that must be mastered before becoming the mayor of Waffle Town. And I have no doubt that you can do that to the best of your ability."

I couldn't help but grin uncontrollably. I had waited for this moment for my whole life.

"And you really are on top of everything when you set your heart on it, Gilbert." He continued. This time, I ignored the awful name, "You know exactly what time every festival is at, where, what day, and everything in between. You never cease to amaze me with how well you've memorized and thoroughly studied each and every event we have here. But, there is something I want to voice my concern about."

I already knew what he was going to say. He was going to tell me that I need to meet more people, like he has been telling me my whole life, and that being a mayor in a town like this means being sociable and friendly with every single individual. Yada yada, blah blah, I knew the spiel.

"Well… I know we've talked about your sociability. And I know you completely understand that. But… that's not all that you're lacking, son. To continue on towards being mayor, I strongly believe that you need… a wife."

My jaw dropped in completely shock. A _wife_?! Who ever said I needed a wife to become the mayor, huh? Where is it in the books? I was infuriated.

"_What_?" I yelled, narrowing my eyes at him. He looked awfully nervous.

"Son, I know you're shocked – "

"Shocked? I'm _furious_!" I shouted. I knew I was about ready to throw a tantrum capable of a three-year-old, but I didn't care. This just wasn't fair at all. "Where does it say that I need a wife?"

"It doesn't say it anywhere. There is no book for this, Gill. It's based wholly on my decision, and I have decided. To help you become more sociable and fit for the part of being the mayor, you need to meet and court a wife. End of story."

This was worse than I could have ever imagined. I had expected a simple 'make more friends' or something along those lines. But no. A wife? As hard as it was to admit this, I was awful with girls. If I wasn't locking myself into my own little 'Gill cage', I was mouthing off. To girls, especially. The only girl I respected up until this point was Elli. Damn that girl for having a loving husband, Jeff, back in Flowerbud Village.

"I can't believe this." I muttered as my shoulders fell completely. My father might be a ditz when it came to many things, but when discussing matters of Waffle Town and of me becoming mayor, he was very serious. I pouted.

"I'm sorry." He muttered. Sighing, I rifled my mind for all of the girls in town that I knew. Unfortunately for me, half of them were dating/married already. That excluded Anissa, Kathy, Candace, Renee, and Maya from the list. That left me Phoebe, Selena, Luna, and Angela.

Immediately I ruled out Phoebe. Her and Calvin were going on some major expedition in a few days, according to my father. Next was Selena. Another bad idea. Last Spring at the Flower Festival, she was dancing _half naked _around the Square and asking me to buy her flowers! When I scoffed and replied 'no way in Hell', she promptly smacked me and refused to speak to me since.

And then there was Luna. My heart swelled at the thought of her name but I hurriedly willed it to stop that nonsense. I guess you could say I had a crush on her, yes. But a _mild _crush at that. Hell, I wouldn't even call it a crush. I would call it a mere attraction that was probably completely shallow. I mean, I had only talked to the girl a few times before, but it was better than nothing.

So I left my father without a word, bounding towards the Tailoring Shop to find Luna. My heart leapt and pulsated in my chest but I tried to contain it. After all, this was just business. I barged into the shop, blowing a piece of flyaway hair from my face as I tried to compose myself.

"Hello, Shelly. Is Luna in today?" I asked in a cordial voice as I straightened my posture and tried to look calm. She gave me a look of sympathy from behind the counter.

"Oh, dear. She's here, but I'm afraid something has come up…" Shelly said hesitantly in a sweet voice. I narrowed my eyes as Luna came skipping out of the back room.

"Hello, Gill," She greeted me, looking suddenly plagued by her thoughts. What was going on here?

"Hey."

"Uh, I guess your dad hasn't told you, huh?" She asked, scratching the back of her head. I shook my head.

"Oh. Well… I'm leaving."

You. Have. Got. To. Be. _Kidding_. Me.

"What do you mean?"

"Shelly and I are moving to a village nearby, called Freesia Valley or something like that –"

"Forget-Me-Not Valley," Shelly corrected her from behind the counter.

"Whatever. Julius and Candace have decided to take over the shop here."

Just my luck. I muttered a slew of obscenities under my breath as Luna looked at me peculiarly.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm sorry to hear about your departure. I must go now." I said very abruptly as I spun around on one heel and headed for the door. This was ridiculous. My only other choices were Selena or Angela. Lucky me.

As I headed back towards the house, I spotted Selena near the square. Maybe I could make peace with her? I mean, the little incident happened a year ago… she must have forgotten by now.

"Hello." I greeted her, feeling uncomfortably awkward. She turned towards me with a glower.

"Oh hey, if it isn't Mr. 'No Way In Hell, You Harlot'. It is _so _nice to see you."

Okay, so she didn't forget. I scratched my neck nervously.

"I didn't say it like _that_…" I muttered, feeling utterly idiotic. Selena rolled her makeup-covered eyes at me and let out a 'pfft'.

"Whatever."

Well, this definitely wasn't getting anywhere. Maybe I could sweet-talk her into forgiving me?

"I'm sorry. You, um… you're not a harlot."

So I'm no good at that, either? I must look like a bumbling fool.

"Wow, thank you so much. That means a ton coming from you." She seethed angrily before turning on one heel and leaving me at the foot of the Town Square stairs. Damn this 'you need a wife' thing. I was independent. I didn't need a wife to run this town!

Angrily, I barged back into my house and put on my most intimidating face. My father looked at me with a frown.

"I'm _not_ doing this, father." I said very harshly, trying to sound like I knew what I was doing, "Almost all the girls in this town are married. I can't just woo one and marry her if I don't love her! What if someone forced you to marry someone other than mother?"

"That didn't happen, now did it? There are plenty of unmarried women in this town! Son, I feel that you're hospitability needs a lot of work. I see how you come off to other people."

"So, why can't I just make friends instead? Why do I have to find a wife?"

"Because making friends will only get you so far. You must feel the bond with a significant other to really understand relationships at all. And trust me, this town is _all _about relationships. If I didn't have your mother those first few years that I was mayor, I wouldn't have done a good job at all. Plus, wouldn't you like an heir to the position?"

"Now you're talking about children!?" I exclaimed. It was one thing to have an eternal bond, but bearing children, too?"

"Well, yes. Do you wonder why I've been the mayor for so long? Because no one in this town will step up and run. They're all content with their jobs and their lives, and they feel that I'm content with being mayor. And I am. But I'm getting old… I can't run this town for the rest of my life. That's why I'm ecstatic that you are of age now, Gill. And when you have children, you will want them to take the title as well."

I felt my fingers clench into angry fists as he spoke. How could he expect this much from me? At my age, too? I groaned to myself and flopped onto the living room couch, watching as the flames in the fireplace crackled and popped excitedly. I rifled through my head, thinking of all the girls in the town once again. Selena: no. Luna: (regrettably) no. Phoebe: no. Angela: …

Damn.

**A/N: Let me know what you think! I just wanted to introduce the situation... the next chapter is a little more fast paced. Review!**


	2. The Compromise

**A/N: Thanks for the support, everyone! Here's chapter two... yay!**

In my mind, I had three choices:

1. Suck it up, try to get to know Angela, and eventually ask her to marry me in all honesty.

2. Let her in on my little predicament and bribe her to stage a marriage with me.

3. Pack up my things and run away to the Gull Islands where I will live as a savage named Gillaumakuwaii; hunting and killing squirrels to eat and making a tent house out of twigs and leaves.

Seeing as choice one and choice three were completely preposterous and out of the question, I decided to go with choice two. Now my only problem was: how was I going to bribe her?

Well, she was a farmer. So maybe I should give her a cow or something? An ostrich? Chicken feed to last her two years? No, she wouldn't take any of those in exchange for her hand in fake marriage.

As I thought this, I was carefully ironing my plaid pants that I would wear that day. Running the iron over the fabric and watching the steam rise… it somehow calmed me. Careful not to crease the pants, I slipped them on and turned off my iron, basking in the warmth radiating onto my legs.

"Son? It's almost eight o'clock, shouldn't you be getting to work?" My father called as he poked his head into the room, "What're you doing?"

I opened my eyes and glowered at him. How dare he interrupt my warmth-basking?

"Nothing, father. I'll be right down."

He nodded happily and waddled his way down the stairs, whistling as he did so. Sometimes I wondered how in the world I was related to my father. I guess in this case, the apple falls far from the tree. _Very _far.

I trotted down the steps and burst out the door into the crisp Fall air, breathing a sigh of contentment. I rather liked Fall. Not too hot, not too cold... it was perfect. Brushing a strand of platinum blonde hair out of my face, I ventured towards the Town Hall.

"Good morning, Gill! Nice outside, isn't it?" Elli greeted me as I pushed the door open. I grunted in her general direction, still bitter about my predicament.

"Having a bad morning?" She asked in a concerned manner. I sighed as I plopped down onto my chair near the resident cards.

"I guess you could say that." I muttered, feeling my cheeks grow red as she touched my arm.

"Don't worry! It's just one bad day out of millions. Cheer up!" She exclaimed, smiling goofily. My stomach was practically clawing its way up my throat at the touch of her hand on my slender shoulder. Why did I have to have a minor attraction to a married woman? Damn her husband in Flowerbud Village. Just then, the door burst open to reveal Angela, looking flustered.

"Elli!" She exclaimed, blowing a stand of hair out of her face as she approached the desk. She smelled like cow dung and fodder. Hello, future wife.

"Hello, Angela. What can I do for you?" She asked politely, folding her hands on the desk in front of her.

"How much does it cost for another plot of land?" Angela inquired, leaning on the desk. I could just imagine the germs creeping onto the wood and infesting the whole area. Must remember to clean the counters after she leaves.

"Well, it's 4500G. Would you like to purchase it now? Or-"

"Wow, really? That much…? I better start saving up, heh." She exclaimed, scratching the back of her head. Elli chuckled melodically, "Well, I guess I'll see you later."

With that, she was out the door in seconds. And I had an idea.

I could _buy _her that land. Heck, I could buy her that land plus another plot! The Town Hall paid pretty well, and I never really had a use for the money. I smiled devilishly to myself.

By five, I was, again, strolling out of work early. Yet another slow day, I cleaned up an hour before we closed, and with the rest of the time, Elli and I played Go Fish. I set my sights on the Sundae Inn, certain that I would see her there. When I usually left work at around seven or eight, I always saw her leaving, shouting goodbyes to everyone in the bar.

I pushed open the creaky door and, sure enough, there she was. I ran over what I was going to say over and over again before I approached her table and sat down nonchalantly. She glared at me.

"What are you doing?" She asked. I leaned in secretively.

"I have to talk to you," I said, glancing around to make sure no one was staring at us. She frowned a little, but didn't stop me. "I'm in… a bit of a predicament."

"Oh, really? What is it?" She asked in a fake-interested voice. I rolled my eyes.

"Hear me out, okay?" I began, twiddling my thumbs nervously. I hated sounding desperate, "You know that my father is retiring soon, right?"

She nodded knowingly.

"Right. And you know that I'm 'running' unopposed, yes?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good. Well…" Oh God, how was I going to spit this out? "My father told me I have to, um… marry, before I become the mayor."

She stared at me for a second, a confused look on her face as if I had just spoken Swahili. And then her eyes widened and she smiled happily.

"Oh, you want me to set you up, don't you? I _love _playing matchmaker." She exclaimed, squealing a little as she did so. My heart thumped regretfully in my chest as I shook my head.

"No, I don't want you to play matchmaker for me." I said bluntly. Her face fell.

"Oh."

"I need you, to… um, Ineedyoutomarryme." I sputtered, looking down at a coffee stain on the wooden table. She cocked her head to the side.

"Huh?"

Painfully, I looked into her chocolate-brown eyes. I felt like liquefying into the ground and seeping through the cracks. This was going to be _humiliating._

"I… need you to… marry… me."

For a moment, she was stunned. I swear someone had pressed the 'pause' button on the Life Remote, because she didn't budge an inch. Her jaw had given in and her mouth was completely ajar. I would have made a comment about catching flies, but something tells me that wouldn't help the situation. Finally, she closed her mouth and did something unexpected. She smiled.

But it wasn't a genuine 'wow-I'm-so-flattered' smile. It was a smile that signified she was about to die of laughter. And die of laughter she did. She clasped her stomach with two trembling hands as she doubled over, cackling like a wild hyena. I frowned.

"You're… not serious… are you?" She asked, still guffawing. I nodded painfully, which only caused her to laugh more. Finally, after she was done making a scene, she looked back up at me with tears streaming down her face, "Wow, that's rich."

"You have to do this! We don't have to actually like each other. We can _pretend _to be married, and then I can get my job, and then we'll have some bitter dispute where we get a divorce, or you move away and I say you died, or something. Please, please, please. You have to understand that this job means the world to me, and my father won't _budge_ with his decision," I babbled while gesticulating in a wild manner. She looked at me with an amused look on her face.

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't want to waste, what, a year of my life pretending to be married to someone like you!" She exclaimed, suddenly angry.

"But there's a catch," I said quickly, "I will buy you that house that you want. And anything else that you need to furnish it."

She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped, seemingly considering my proposal. Finally, she looked me dead in the eye and sighed.

"Look, I do want that house. A _lot_. And honestly, I'm not even close to being able to afford it. But I can't marry you for a house. We don't exactly get along, if you haven't noticed!"

"I know! We don't have to get along. We just have to pretend we like each other when my father is around, trust me. And when it comes to the point of no return, when I become the mayor, I mean, then we can have a huge fight and divorce!"

"Can't I just set you up with someone else? What about Luna? She's nice."

"She's moving to some place called Freesia Town or something weird like that."

"Selena?"

"_No._ I may not like you, but I _loathe _her."

"Phoebe?"

"Leaving with Calvin to explore some far off cave. And before you suggest anyone else, they're all married. Or engaged."

She blinked at me, looking completely shocked. She was my only choice, unfortunately for me.

"I-I just… can't. I don't want my wedding, something I've been looking forward to for my whole life, to be a fluke. That's not right."

"Please. You _have _to do this for me… I'll buy you anything. I'll buy you two new houses, if you want. Hell, I'll buy you the whole Caramel River District… just please do this for me."

"I have to think about it." She said, getting up from the table abruptly. I wanted to call after her, but I had already pleaded my case. Now all I could do was sit around and wait for an answer.

That was not as easy as it sounded. I was on edge every moment after that, searching for her brunette bob everywhere I went. I would sit stiffly in my Town Hall chair, waiting for the door to open. And when it did, I would become jumpy and jittery, only to find out that the unknown person behind the door was someone unimportant. I was going crazy.

Millions of times I tried to convince my father that there were barely any marriageable girls left in this town. But each time he would 'tut tut' me and spew out this nonsense about something or other. It was always the same lecture; the same lecture that I never listened to.

At night I was plagued by nightmares of growing old and still working at the Town Hall. My hair would be ratty and faded, my collar would always be undone, I had stubble growing around my cheeks, and my usual ironed pants were wrinkly and disoriented. I shuddered at the thought.

One rainy day on a Saturday, when I was lounging around the house on my day off, a knock came to the door. It could quite possibly be my father, back from the day's errands without a key. Or it could be Angela. I jumped from the couch and yanked the door open.

"So I thought about what you said."

It was Angela. Without even bothering saying 'hello', or waiting for me to invite her inside, she stepped over the threshold and shut the door behind her. Her boots squeaked on the wooden floor as a mixture of what looked and smelled like dung and dirt stained the floor. I grimaced.

"I think I'll do it."

Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I smiled genuinely for the first time in ages, feeling my cheeks stretch uncomfortably as I did so. Heck, I was so happy, I could _lick _her boot droppings off the floor.

"Really? Wow." I said after a few moments of internal victory dances and fist pumps. She sat down on the leather couch, crossing and uncrossing her legs uncomfortably.

"Yeah. As long as you make sure we can get out of that arrangement as soon as possible."

I nodded vigorously, still in disbelief over everything.

"Probably about a season after my 'coronation' will be the point of no return. So, if we hurry up and pretend that we're 'seeing each other' sooner, than my father will arrange a marriage. Trust me, it won't take long." I told her, feeling shaky. I couldn't believe this was happening! I was going to become the _mayor_, and all I had to do was buy her a house and put up with her for a little while. No big deal, right?

"Okay," She said, not daring to look me in the eye, "When can I get end of the deal?"

"Whenever," I replied nonchalantly, trying to seem cool and collected about all of this, when really I was fighting the urge to jump off the walls. Just as Angela opened her mouth to speak, the door opened, and in came my father with a rain-splattered coat and a jovial expression on his face.

"What a storm!" He exclaimed as he came in through the door, "Oh! Hello, Angela!"

She grinned weakly, waving at him. I could clearly see the cogs turning in his mind as his polite smile turned into a sly one. He knew what was going on here, or what we were trying to make him believe was going on. Hurriedly, I sat next to Angela on the couch, trying to further push the idea into his mind.

"What's the occasion?" He asked as he shed off his coat and hung it on a hanger. She looked at me with wild eyes.

"Nothing, really." I replied in a calm voice. Again, he smiled widely at us.

"Well, I should probably leave you alone, then!" He exclaimed before shuffling up the stairs. As soon as he was out of earshot, we both let out a sigh that we didn't know we had been holding.

"I should get going." She said tersely as she stood from the couch.

"Hold on," I called after her as she headed for the door. She whirled around and stared at me expectantly, "If you want to get this done as early as possible, we have to make sure my father knows what's going on so he can arrange the marriage."

"Okay, what do we have to do?" She asked, sitting in her hip as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"We have to… stage a date."

She widened her eyes at me as if I just asked her to commit murder.

"I know, I know. But we both want this to be fast, right? So on Mondays, my father always goes to the Sundae Inn at about one. I'll take a lunch break and head over there and we'll pretend like we're on a date. And then he'll start to understand what's going on."

She nodded her head very slowly, pinching her chin between her index finger and thumb.

"Okay. Monday at one… sounds good. I'll see you."

I grunted and went back to sitting on the couch as the door closed behind me. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I knew it couldn't be good. Fake marriage was definitely not a task on my to-do list. I stood from the couch and stretched lazily before heading towards the kitchen for a glass of milk. But as soon as I took one step, I slipped due to the gunk on the floor and went flying. I growled audibly at the mess on the polished wood and stood up. This floor was going to need some deep cleaning.

After scrubbing about a million times, I finally got all of the dirty and grime off of the floor. Wiping my forehead in exhaustion, I trudged up the stairs and ran straight into my father.

"Oh, sorry about that, Gilbert. Is Angela gone already?" He asked. I nodded, trying to sidestep him, "Did you two have fun?"

"Mhmm." I answered. He smiled and clapped his hands delightedly.

"Excellent! Maybe you won't have a hard time finding a wife after all!" He exclaimed, nudging me in the rib cage. I muttered a string of incomprehensible words before shoving past him and collapsing on my bed. It wasn't long before I fell into a deep sleep that I so desperately needed.

**A/N: I love to torture Gill... Muahahaa. Review!**


	3. Pink?

**A/N: Hey all, sorry it took so long to update! I was busy working on 'You're Awful, I Love You' and I had to take a little break. Anyways, enjoy!**

"No, no, no, a thousand times _no_. I am _not _saying that."

So, compromising with Little Miss Sunshine was definitely not going too well. Here we were in the Sundae Inn, just minutes before my father was going to come inside, and we had no idea what we were doing.

"Ple-ease? All I want you to say is 'Gill, you are the sunshine that brightens my day'. Is that so hard?"

"I agreed to pretend to marry you. That doesn't mean you can force me into saying sappy, moronic things that _no one _says anymore." She argued as she clenched and unclenched her fists and frustration. I sighed.

"Yeah, but it's part of the deal. Being sappy and moronic is just a small part of the whole 'marriage' package."

"How about you take that 'marriage' package, and shove it up your-"

"Angela! Gill! How nice to see you both here."

We both whirled around in our chairs to see my father, looking red and jolly as he waved at us. Boy, my timing was really awful these days.

"Oh, hello." I greeted him in a strained voice, trying to force a smile upon my face. Angela said 'hello' in a happy, singsong voice as he approached the counter of the restaurant.

"Gill, what's wrong with your face?" She asked in a sharp whisper. I frowned and looked over at her.

"What do you mean?"

"You look like you're in pain," She commented, cocking her head to the side a little. I sighed.

"I'm just trying to look happy."

"You should stop that. It's kind of scary."

I rolled my eyes in her direction and crossed my ankles over each other. My father approached our table with a cup of tea and a scone.

"So, what are you two up to?" He asked, taking a messy bite of his scone and wiping his mouth. We both looked at each other nervously.

"Just getting some lunch," Angela said uneasily. I nodded in agreement.

"How pleasant." He commented, looking gleeful. Angela and I smiled and tried to look happy with each other. I even scooted my chair in a little bit for emphasis. "Well, I will leave you two be, then."

We both nodded at him as he sat down with his tea and scone a few tables away, indiscreetly stealing glances at us. There was no doubt that he would be able to hear our conversations because of his close proximity. Cue the bullshit sap-a-thon.

"Angela," I said in a loud, dreamy voice, trying to peek glances at my father, "Today has been one of the best days in a long time."

Angela giggled obnoxiously and pretended to cover her face in embarrassment.

"I would have to agree!" She exclaimed in an incredibly phony voice. I tried to signal to her with my eyes that she needed to tone down the cheesiness just a little, but she just stared at me peculiarly. "Is there something in your eye?"

"No, uh, there's nothing in my eye… darling…?"

Wow, that sounded weird. But I stared over at my father, who was outwardly smiling at us.

"Good!" She said, "Wow, Gill, you are just the sparkle that brightens my day!"

Sparkle?! She got her line wrong! I kicked her under the table, which caused her to let out a small 'eep!'

"Er, I mean, sunshine!" She said, grabbing my hand to throw my father off of her little faux pas. _Oh god, _I had thought, _just think of all the germs on that hand._

"Well, um, we should get going, shall we?" I proposed, standing from the table as my hand slipped out of my grip. Must remember to obsessively wash it later. My father grinned widely to himself, and it was _definitely _clear that we put the idea in his head. Mission (barely) accomplished.

As soon as we were outside, it was back to normal. We both glared at each other.

"Sparkle?!" I exclaimed, my eyes wide. She rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. It was a stupid line anyways, I doubt he bought it."

"I beg to differ. Did you see his face when we left? He was practically planning the wedding in his head already."

She gave me a look of bewilderment, but then quickly went back to glaring at me.

"Okay, well, what's next?" She asked, shoving her hands into her pockets. I shuddered, remembering the fact that one of those hands was on mine, and now I probably had a million different disgusting substances crawling about my skin. I was itching to go home and wash it off.

"I'll talk to my father when he gets home later today, and then I'll let you know what he says. If we need to stage another date, so be it."

She groaned outwardly, smacking her forehead.

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad. If you hadn't have messed up your line, it would have been perfect…" I said nastily, narrowing my eyes at her. She sneered, turned on one foot, and started to walk in a separate direction. Shrugging to myself, I power-walked home to scrub my hand viciously.

My father came home at around six, already bursting and bubbling over with excitement. It made me sick.

"So how was your date?" He asked the second he stepped through the door. I tried my best to smile in a dreamy fashion.

"It was great!" I said as convincing as I could. He clapped his hands excitedly.

"Oh, that's so perfect!" He exclaimed, "Do you think she could be… the one?"

Oh god, why would he ask such a wretched question? I could almost feel the bile rushing up my throat. I pretended to be embarrassed by looking away, but really, I was sick of that goofy smile that was planted on his face.

"Yes, I do." I replied, my voice a little strained. He clapped his hands to the side of his face, causing his cheeks to protrude from his face.

"And you told me it was a stupid idea! Look at you, so embarrassed!" He said, touching my shoulder. It took a lot of willpower to not smack his hand off my shoulder and tell him he was totally wrong. But instead, I smiled and nodded like a "good boy".

"Just one thing," He began, taking his hand off my shoulder. I gulped, half-expecting him to say that he wanted us to have kids, too, or something ridiculous like that. "Well, certainly you're aware of the Waffle Town tradition, right?"

"Which one? There are a lot of them…"

"The blue feather."

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

"I'm aware of it, yes. But don't tell me you're going to make me follow through with that stupid- I mean, difficult task?"

"Gilbert!" He exclaimed as I shuddered uncontrollably, "Of course you have to! Just because you're my son doesn't mean the tradition is suddenly meaningless!"

I rolled my eyes. Why was this town so obsessed with the bluebird? Apparently, it was 'sacred' and 'significant' and all of that crazy nonsense. It was just a bird! Why did I need to grab its feather to propose?

I grunted at my father, crossing my arms in a rude fashion.

"You will get that blue feather and you will show it to me! No ifs, ands, or buts."

My life could not get any worse.

--

"Come 'ere, you son of a bitch!"

The bird was taunting me. It's bright blue creature fluttered about near the Caramel Falls. It tweeted in a saccharine manner that made me sick. I was going to get that blue bird if it was the last thing I do!

In one swoop of its wings, it dived down near my head. Exasperatedly, I jumped up and clapped my hands over my head. But to no avail. It soared upward again and landed on top of the waterfall. It tweeted once again as if to tell me that I was pathetic.

"I'll show you pathetic!" I cried, throwing a rock towards it. It swooped down just in time and landed on a rock across the river. It craned its neck towards its body and pecked viciously at the area below its wing. Ruffling his feathers a bit, one gracefully drifted downward into the river.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, punching my fist into the air. Just one problem: How would I get it out of the river? And… why was it floating downstream?!

I followed it, trying my best to grab it even while it was out of arms length. For about five minutes, I crawled on my knees on the edge of the river, trying to gain some sort of super power to elongate my arms. But as it neared closer to the ocean, there was only thing I could do. Wade in and grab it.

Looking around quickly, I made sure there was no one around before shedding my sweater vest and pleated pants. I couldn't risk getting those wet! It would take a lot of soap to get the disgusting river germs off of them. Shaking in my smiley-face boxers (damn you, Fall weather), I dipped a toe into the water.

The _freezing _water.

"Now or never…" I told myself as I slipped into the water. Quickly, I checked the area. No fish, thank the Goddess. Fish were freaky, especially when they slithered past you in the water. Wading carefully in the murky goop, I advanced towards the feather that had floated a little ways away from me.

I doggy-paddled for quite some time, for the closer I got to the feather, the farther it went away from me. Angrily, I propelled myself forward and finally grabbed a hold of the soaking feather. Sighing in relief and anger, I hoisted myself out of the river and shook like a dog. I couldn't _wait _for a nice, hot shower.

Staring back towards where I started my little escapade, I expected to see my clothes where I left them. But they were not there.

"Hm. They must be behind that rock." I said to myself as I advanced back towards the area. But they weren't. Looking out towards the Caramel River District, I saw a giggling buffoon running away from the river. Shit.

"Luke!" I shouted, running after him, "Luuuccc-aaasssss!"

He kept running for a few moments before turning around and sticking his tongue out at me as he held up my clothes. No matter what I did, I wouldn't be able to catch up with him. I wasn't a very good runner, and he was.

"What am I going to do?!" I shouted to myself. I couldn't go into town like this! What sort of image would that give me? Hastily, I thought of the only plan I could think of. Angela's house.

Covering my stomach and chest, I ran towards her house and knocked on the door obnoxiously. _Please be home, please be home_…

"Hold on a second," She called.

"_Get out here_!" I yelled, pounding on the door with a shaking fist. Immediately, she flung the door open with a panicked expression on her face.

"What? What is it?" She shouted, before noticing my attire, or lack of, "Ha-ha! What is this? I thought we saved that for after marriage, eh?"

"Shut up. Give me clothes." I seethed.

"Jeez, don't get your panties in a knot!" She joked, clutching at her stomach. I growled audibly, which shut her up pretty quickly.

"Uh, I don't really have much except for some tight khakis and a pink sweater… is that all right?"

"I don't care. Just give me something quick!"

"Here," She said, throwing a bundle of clothes my way, "These should do. And it couldn't hurt to say please and thank you."

"Please. And thank you." I said curtly, trying to fit the tight pants over my legs. As I popped my head through the pink sweater, I was confused to see her grinning oddly at me.

"Oh my, is that for me? Such a gentleman, you are." She exclaimed in an overly sweet voice as she clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes. She must have been talking about the blue feather.

"Yeah, yeah, it's for you. But I have to show my father first. I'm surprised that he is okay with a marriage after one fake date." I commented, fingering the wet bristles of the feather.

"Is that why you're all wet?"

"… Yeah, it was in the river. And then Luke stole my clothes. Just… don't tell anyone, okay? This is embarrassing."

"Uh-huh. Now go show your father. The sooner we get married, the sooner we divorce. Go! Before anyone sees you," She ushered me as she grabbed my shoulders and whirled me around. Grumbling to myself, I ran towards Waffle Town, hoping that no one would see me in such girly attire.

Luckily, the only people milling about town were Maya and Yolanda, who only gave me strange looks before I burst into my home, panting from sprinting.

"Uh…?" My father asked me as I entered, "Is this the new style now, Gill? Tight and… pink?"

"Sure, whatever. Look." I replied tersely as I thrust the blue feather into his face. He jumped up and down in delight, causing the floorboards to wheeze uncomfortably.

"Oh, perfect! When are you going to pop the big question?" He asked, elbowing me in the ribs. I frowned.

"I don't know. Soon, I guess."

"Soon? Oh, no, no, no!" He exclaimed, frowning a bit.

"What? What's the matter?" I asked, feeling my face drop dramatically.

"You've only been on one date! You can't just pop the question just like that! You have to properly court her." He said matter-of-factly, "I know you've never done this, son, but I will help you. You have to give her gifts! Go on another date! And only then do you profess your love to her at Alan's tree."

Damn these Waffle Town traditions. I just wanted this whole situation to be over with! I could feel my face turning red.

"Ugh. I have to go shower," I commented, feeling like a misunderstood teenager as I bounded the stairs. This marriage business was hard work. How could people actually do this for real? I had no clue.

All I knew was that this was going to be one hell of a year.

**A/N: Woo! Naked Gill! Hahah, I had to incorporate something ridiculous like that. I just love manipulating little Gilly-Willykins (barf). Anyways, review please!**


	4. Wool Over his Eyes

**A/N: Hey, sorry it took a little while for me to update. The document uploader on ffnet was being a little screwy... anyways! Hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

"_What_?"

"You heard me. Dates, gifts, courting… the whole damn deal. I thought this would be easy."

Angela stared at me incredulously as I reenacted the whole conversation between my father and I. With every syllable I sounded out, her eyes grew wider and wider.

"I can't _believe _this. I thought it would be so simple! Dating, blue feather, marriage, _bam_! Divorce!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air in exasperation. I ran my fingers through my white-blonde hair for the tenth time in the past few minutes.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, okay? Jeez." I replied, looking down at my shoes. She sighed.

"I didn't mean to blow up. I'm just… frustrated, all right? I didn't expect this to… take so long."

"Yeah, me neither. I was pretty sure my father was completely oblivious to the whole 'dating scene', but I was wrong… Anyways, if you're expecting me to give you gifts, forget it. But there are some things that are necessary for my father to witness."

"Oh, you are just so sweet, _dear_." She said bitterly, putting her hands on her hips as she stood in the doorway of her home. I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry! Isn't stripping down to my underwear to get that freakin' blue feather good enough for you? I need to buy you perfume, too?" I asked exasperatedly. She laughed.

"Oh yeah. That was hilarious!" She exclaimed as she snickered to herself. I rolled my eyes.

"_Anyways_… I should probably leave. Let's say we meet up in the Inn this afternoon at three when my father stops by for his tea. Got it?"

"Sure," She sighed, looking exhausted. With that, I waved curtly and left her house, feeling my muscles ache from all of this tension. These past few days have been awful on my health. I need at least a day to myself, but somehow I knew I wasn't going to get one of those for a while.

Angela and I met up in the Sundae Inn before my father did so we could plan a little.

"Okay, this time we have to be even _sappier_. I'm talking nicknames, flirtatious touching, ridiculous comments, the whole deal. You with me?" I asked, feeling fidgety. She sighed and nodded as she picked at a fingernail.

"But we can't touch for too long, okay? I might gag."

"_You _might gag? Really?" I asked incredulously. She was the one who was touching cow crap all day! Where was the sense in this woman? She narrowed her eyes dangerously at me.

"Whatever. As long as your father believes it, it doesn't matter." She said rather loudly. I suddenly realized that we really weren't being too cautious about any of this. And, to make matters worse, I felt a pair of eyes on my back, but I didn't turn around. Luckily, my father walked in moments later. He smiled at us as he came in, but didn't make a huge fuss like usual.

"So, _darling_, I just wanted to thank you so much for the lovely pendant you got me today." Angela commented, batting her eyelashes at me. My father turned around to give me a thumbs-up before returning to the counter. I smiled devilishly.

"Not a problem, _dear_. Anything for you!"

Happily, my father received his tea and sat down at a table close to us. Now for the authentic theatrics. Cautiously, I began to stroke her arm.

"You just look so, um… beautiful today. I can't keep my eyes off of you." I said painfully, knowing that I sounded completely off. She giggled.

"I don't think I've ever met someone as sweet as you!" She replied happily, twirling a piece of auburn hair around her thin fingers. Damn, had she been practicing? Sure, it was cheesy, but the acting was _way _better than before. I smirked.

"My Goddess, Angela, I think you might actually be the one for me." I stated contentedly as my father stole obvious glances at our table.

"You're embarrassing me!" She exclaimed as my father polished off his herbal tea. As he passed me to leave, he gave me an indecipherable expression: somewhere between ecstatic and shocked. As soon as he left, we both let out sighs of relief.

"Bravo, bravo!" Came a voice from behind us. I instantly felt my face drip of all color as I whirled around to see none other than Julius himself. He was leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe my father had just walked out of, clapping slowly.

"Aherm, uh, what?" I sputtered, not exactly sure what to say to that. Did he know what we were up to?

"I saw your little charade there. Quite believable, if you ask me. However, the _dear_'s and _darling_'s should be a little less forced, don't you agree?"

The cat was definitely out of the bag. I groaned angrily, feeling a sense of overwhelming fear rush over me. If my father found out I was lying to him, I would be dead. Killed. Murdered. Massacred.

"Please," I said in an exasperated tone, clutching my hands together, "I beg you. Don't tell my father."

He laughed melodically, planting his hands on his slender hips as he strode towards our table.

"You think I'm going to tell Mayor Hamilton?" He asked, as he sat down at our table, "Of course not. This is _way _too fun."

"Fun?" Angela asked, clearly befuddled.

"Yes! Pulling the old wool over his eyes, eh? How exciting!"

I rubbed my temples, feeling utterly confused. What was he trying to insinuate here?

"So, what are you saying?" Angela asked as if she had read my mind. He fiddled the tips of his fingers together capriciously.

"I'm saying that this town is drab! Boring! Dullsville! I want some excitement… and what more exciting is a scandal in the works, hm? What exactly are you guys trying to pull off, here?"

Angela and I stared at each other dubiously, not sure if we should expose our scam to Julius.

"Oh, come now! I won't be a bother." He said, as if he knew of our insecurities. Finally, I sighed. If he already knew this much, we might as well tell him the whole spiel.

"Well… you know how I'm running for mayor unopposed, right?" I asked slowly, trying to think of how exactly I should explain my predicament. Julius nodded politely, urging me to go on, "Um, you see, my father told me I have to get married before my coronation. And seeing as there were only a few candidates for marriage left, I had to choose one. Unfortunately for me, Luna moved away, Phoebe is going on some expedition with Calvin, and Selena hates my guts more than anyone on this planet."

Angela rolled her eyes next to me as she kicked my shin, _hard_.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, "What was that for?"

"You act like it's _so _horrible that I was the only one left. I could back out, you know!"

I sighed, blowing a piece of platinum blonde hair out of my face. Julius chuckled a bit.

"This is great!" He exclaimed.

"Hardly!" I opposed, "I have to buy her a house, and anything that she needed to furnish it. Talk about expensive."

"It's not like you would use the money for anything, anyways!" She cried in her defense, crossing her arms tightly over her chest.

"I've had to pay in other ways, too!" I retorted as I mimicked her position. Julius had the most amused look on his face.

"How, how? Tell me!" He said, his eyes lighting up like pink fireballs.

"The other day, I had to fish out a blue feather that had fallen into the Caramel River. And when I finally grabbed it and got out of the disgusting lake, Luke stole my clothes and went running off with them! So I had to borrow _her _clothes to go home. I looked like a grandma!"

Angela grunted in disgust, not even bothering to reply.

"Sounds like you two are in a bit of a pickle, eh?" He asked as he pulled up a chair to sit at our table.

"That's an understatement…" Angela muttered.

"Well, when are you guys planning on 'getting married'?"

"Hopefully soon, but my father has this whole policy on 'courting and dating' beforehand. I was about ready to give her the feather today, but _noooo_, it's against what is 'proper'. Ugh." I ranted angrily. Julius laced his fingers together thoughtfully as he stared blankly into the distance.

"Hrm," He grunted, "What's going to happen after you get married?"

"Divorce!" Angela exclaimed as if it was the winning answer on a game show.

"Really, now? In-ter-est-ing."

Angela and I nodded slowly as a silence engulfed the area for a moment. I was itching to know where he was going with this, and if he was going to help us or not.

"Oh, this is so scandalous! I absolutely _love _it. And I was just thinking about how my life was getting boring… Anyways! I think I might have a way to help you."

"What is it?" Angela asked anxiously, her eyes wide.

"Well, seeing as you guys basically have the whole plan figured out," He began, looking deep in thought, "I could just… you know, further plant the idea in the Mayor's head. How does that sound?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You know, work 'behind the scenes', in cognito! I'll just bring you guys up to the Mayor in a conversation or something." He mused, "I'll say, 'So, you're son and Angela are getting pretty attached, aren't they? Every time I see them, they're together!' Sound good?"

I nodded vigorously. I didn't completely understand this guy's fascination with a 'scandal' such as this… but hey, who cares? The more help, the merrier!

"Fabulous!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together in a silly fashion, "It's like I'm a spy, or something! Okay, what's my first mission?"

Oh god, I could already tell I was going to get annoyed with him.

"Be here tomorrow and strike up a conversation with the Mayor, similar to the one you just acted out," Angela told him, smirking as she did so. Julius nodded as Angela continued to give him advice on what to say and what not to say.

We finally said our goodbyes at around four that afternoon. I had barely realized that I had taken an extra thirty minutes on my break than I should have. Hurriedly, I darted towards the Town Hall and burst through the doors exasperatedly. Elli was there, sitting patiently like always. She gave me a concerned frown.

"Where were you?" She asked politely as she crossed her legs. I shrugged, scratching the back of my neck as I struggled to catch my breath.

"You know… just… around." I panted as I went to sit next to her. The crease in her forehead deepened significantly.

"You've been worrying me, Gill." She said softly as she stacked some papers, "Always running off during breaks, looking absolutely exhausted… it's just not you."

Anxiously, I fought against the butterflies in my stomach while I tried to formulate an answer. Was I going to have to lie to her, too?

"Don't worry about it," I waved her off as her shoulders slumped in frustration.

"But I am worried!" She exclaimed, seeming frazzled. I sighed deeply, staring at the mahogany desk in front of me. Suddenly, the room grew very still. I couldn't even hear the sound of my own breathing.

"I've noticed you have been hanging around with Angela lately," She commented, not looking at me. I felt my eyes widen.

"Um, yes."

"Do you like her?" She asked, almost in an accusing tone. I gulped. To lie, or not to lie; that is the question!

"Er… I don't know?" I replied in a shaky tone. Well, it wasn't exactly lying, or telling the truth, either. Maybe she would just drop the whole thing and forget about it. But, alas, luck was never on my side. She whipped her head in my direction and glared at me.

"Why are you lying to me?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Your father said you two were going to get married soon. How could you not know if you like someone if you're going to marry them?" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air. I gulped.

"Uh, well, you see…" I began, but I wasn't too sure where to go after that. She crossed her arms over her chest as her lips turned into a thin, tight line. I had never seen her look so… _scary_. She opened her mouth to speak, but shut it suddenly as if she had come to a sudden realization. Flustered, she stared back down at the desk where she was filling out a mountain of paperwork. She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.

I tried hard to concentrate on my work for the day, but I felt fidgety and out of place. Elli didn't even look at me once; she just kept her head straight ahead. The only noises that disrupted the silence were the customers that ambled in and out.

Finally, I left work as soon as possible and headed towards my house where I could just flop onto my bed and rest.

But I had to make one small pit stop, first.

--

The next morning, I woke up to a bird tweeting happily outside my window. Rubbing my bleary eyes, I stood from my bed and headed over to my bureau. I yanked open the door, having completely forgotten about my pit stop last night. A mountain of white tank tops, red vests, blue jeans, and flamed-crested bandanas toppled onto my feet. I smiled to myself, feeling awfully devilish.

After I ironed my pants and shirt, I slipped them on and headed down the stairs; I wasn't quite ready for another day of scandal and secrecy.

_One thing is for certain, though_, I said to myself as I headed outside, _someone on this island is going to have a worse day than me. _Surprise, surprise, there was Luke in the distance, standing in a tiny shirt and shorts that were _way _too small.

He must have had a rude awakening when he woke to find nothing but dust in his bureau.

**A/N: Heheheh... Gill is a trickster! Let me know what you thought!**


	5. Vanilla

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone. I'm sorry this chapter took kind of long, I was having a little bit of trouble!**

"I need my clothes back, you know." Angela commented the next day as we sat in my living room, waiting for Julius to get back from the Sundae Inn.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it."

Truth was, I hadn't given Angela's clothes back for a reason. As creepy and totally stalker-ish as this sounds, they smelled _really _good. And honestly, I didn't even take them off when I was safely in the confines of my room. It was some sort of vanilla scent fused with coconut. It was mesmerizing. For a girl who spends most of her days in an animal barn, she sure knows how to disguise it. Usually.

"When did Julius say he would be here?" Angela asked absentmindedly as she twiddled her thumbs together. I sighed, checking my watch for the millionth time.

"Should be any minute now." I commented stiffly. That familiar smell had seeped into my nostrils, and I was practically getting drunk off of it. Did she bathe in the stuff? My Goddess, I was sitting seven feet away from her and it still felt like she was right under my nose. I coughed noisily.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked accusingly, looking me up and down like I was a loon.

"Ahem, uh, nothing. Say," I began, trying to seem as blasé as I could, "Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?"

"It smells like… er, vanilla or something." I stated as I looked down at my fingernails. I saw her grin from the corner of my eye.

"Yes, it's vanilla. It's my shampoo. Why, do you not like it…?" She asked, fingering a strand of her hair in her fingers.

"No! I mean, uh, not really, I guess."

Why was I such a stuttering loser? She shook her head, laughing a little as she did so, but she had suddenly become quiet.

"Is something the matter?" She asked in all seriousness. I frowned a little, taken aback by the fact that she had the audacity to ask such a question.

"Um, no, why do you ask?" I replied.

"You just… seem off. I don't know, you're all jittery." She stated, staring intently at me. We definitely had been spending too much time with each other if she knew something was up. And the truth was, I did feel kind of strange. Apprehensive, you could say. But why?

"I don't know what you're talking about." I defended dully, crossing my arms over my chest, "If you ask me, you're the one who seems strange."

"See? That's just it!" She exclaimed, catching me off guard, "Even your insults are off!"

"What?"

"You aren't going to back off on the deal, are you, Gill?" She asked. The sound of my name on her tongue caused me to jolt a bit. I don't think I have ever heard her say my name before, "… Well?"

"No." I replied, shaking off my funny feelings. Just then, the door swung open, interrupting her anticipated reply.

"Helloooo there, 'happy couple'!" Julius exclaimed loudly, shutting the door behind him. Boy, did he like to make an entrance.

"Hi." We replied simultaneously, staring up at Julius who seemed to be sparkling. He grinned wickedly down at us.

"Mission accomplished!" He cried out, extending his arms outward in a fit of joy. I swear, he was happier about this than we were.

"Really? What happened?" Angela asked.

"Well, I told him everything you wanted me to tell him. That I've seen you guys around, that you two are 'inseparable', all that mumbo jumbo." He replied, gesticulating wildly. I felt my eyes light up as he continued, "He seemed absolutely _ecstatic_. Says that he 'knew you two would get together' and that he 'saw it coming all along'."

I snorted, staring in the opposite direction to hide my red face. In the beginning, it didn't really phase me, but now that it was getting farther along the line… it just felt weird, being referred to as a couple. Sure, I loved the fact that I was about to have complete and utter control over the town. But marrying someone who I knew nothing about? It just seemed so strange.

"Really? Wow… that's great!" She exclaimed, her tone of voice a little offbeat. I looked over at her to see her face growing red as well. Was she thinking the same thing…?

_Of course she isn't_, I scolded myself, _there is nothing weird about this situation. Nothing. I was going to be mayor, she would have a new house, and bam! Divorce_.

…So why did I still feel odd? I shook my head in annoyance as I stood up abruptly.

"I'm going to get some water," I announced, heading towards the kitchen. As soon as I left the living room, I let out a well-deserved sigh. Why had my stomach tied itself in a knot? Hurriedly, I grabbed a glass of water and headed back to the living room. Julius still stood near the door, glimmering excitedly.

"I haven't told you guys the best part," He stated, grinning evilly. Both of our eyes widened, signaling for him to go on, "Let's just say the wedding bells might as well be ringing as we speak!"

The gulp of water in my mouth spurted into the air like sea spray. I looked over at Angela, whose expression was very hard to read. Julius just stood there, looking excited as he clamped his hands together.

"That's, uh… that's great!" I managed to choke out as I wiped the dribbling water from my chin and neck. Angela looked at me as if I had just spoken gibberish, but then nodded vigorously in agreement. My stomach lodged itself in my throat as Julius continued.

"Isn't it? Oh, but it was so _easy_! When do you think you'll 'pop the question'?" He asked, his eyes glinting with amusement. I pulled exasperatingly at my tight collar as I contemplated the question.

"What do you mean 'pop the question'?" Angela asked, "Gill will do no such thing! It's a fake, remember?"

For some reason, I felt a weird pang in my chest as she spoke. I swear I was becoming soft, or something. Why else was I feeling so out of place about this whole situation? Worriedly, I combed my hair with my fingers as Julius chuckled.

"Oh, I know that! I mean, when are you going to tell the ol' Mayor when the deed is done?"

"As soon as possible, right?" Angela asked in a hurried tone, looking frantic, "Do you think there will be much preparations? A long wait? Do I need to wear a dress, or what?"

"Have you gone mad?" I interrupted her, "We are trying to pull off a _real wedding _here. Yes, you need a dress! Yes, there will be a lot of preparations! And yes, there will be a long wait!"

Both Julius and Angela stared at me confusedly as I clenched my fists at my sides. I didn't know why I was getting so worked up about this, but for some reason, it was making me feel sick.

"I think you two should leave," I said, calmer than before, "My father should be home soon."

Nodding slowly in agreement, they both stood to leave without barely muttering a goodbye. It was official. I had gone mad. Still jittery, I trudged up the stairs and into my room. There, on my bed, was the pink sweater and tight bottoms. In a fit of insanity, I grabbed the articles of clothing and went back down the stairs.

Without thinking, I tossed them into the fireplace and flipped the switch, watching them engulf in flames. Somehow, it made me feel better. I was uneasy because I refused to acknowledge that I actually liked something about Angela. Everything about this arrangement was strictly business.

Feeling satisfied, I went into the kitchen to get something to eat. All I wanted to do was take my mind off of this marriage craze. I was only twenty-two! I could already feel the gray hairs poking out of my scalp because of this!

It wasn't long until my father came home, looking jolly as always. His cheeks were red from the increasingly cold weather, but he still had a warm smile on his face. I muttered a meek 'hello' as he entered the kitchen.

"So I've been thinking," He began, jumping straight back into this whole 'marriage' thing. My stomach churned as he spoke again, "Are you serious about marrying Angela?"

About as serious as Luke on Spring Fool's Day.

"Of course I am."

"Good, because… well, I think you're ready." He stated goofily, "I mean, I have been observing you lately. Always disheveled, jittery, and exhausted. You constantly have bags under your eyes!"

"… What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, feeling slightly insulted. I didn't look that bad, did I?

"You're in love!" He cried, throwing his arms outwards. I'm guessing he was expecting a hug, but I pretended not to notice, "I acted the exact same way with your mother!"

"Did you really?" I asked in fake interest. Sure, I was happy that this process was moving along quickly, but why were my palms suddenly sweaty?

"Yes! And I just now realized that you two should get married whenever you please. That girl, what's her name? Julianne? Anyways, she was the one who pointed it out of me. She commented on how you two are practically inseparable."

"Dad, Julius isn't a gir-"

"Oh, we need to set a date! You should get married in the Spring. Such a beautiful time of year…" He interrupted me, looking into the distance with a dreamy, pensive look on his face.

"I haven't even asked her yet!" I shouted angrily, suddenly anxious about all this planning. I had never even been to a wedding, let alone my _own _wedding! My father stared blankly at me, bewildered by my outburst.

"…I'm sorry, son. When are you planning on it?" He asked calmly, sitting down at the kitchen table. I sighed.

"I don't know, today, I guess." I replied with disinterest, but quickly caught myself, "I mean, er, I'm just so nervous! I want to get it over with now!"

My father smiled genuinely, and I could tell that his heart was swelling with pride.

"Go on, then! Go tell her!" He cheered me on as he pulled the blue feather out of his pocket. Winking as he gave me a small nudge, I reluctantly headed out the door. Now or never, I suppose.

As I grasped the feather with all of my might, I felt strange. Dizzy, almost. Sure, it wasn't a _real _proposal, but… for some reason my stomach was in knots. Struggling to breath properly, I knocked on Angela's door a few minutes later. She opened the door and stared at me expectantly; it seemed that I was the only visitor she ever had. Hastily, I pulled out the feather and shoved it into her hands.

"Hamilton said we could get married?" She asked excitedly, her eyes lighting up like lights on a Christmas tree.

"Better be referring to him as 'father-in-law' from now on," I replied, making a feeble attempt at a joke. She didn't respond. Instead, she stared intently at the feather like I had just moments before.

"This is… weird." She said finally, tearing her eyes away from the feather. I blinked rapidly while bobbing my head up and down in agreement, "Are you all right?"

"Huh? Me? Uh, yeah, fine. I should go." I said rapidly as I turned on one foot and left my

'bride-to-be' without a word. She didn't seem to mind.

My inner self pounded on my head, demanding answers.

Inner Self: What's wrong with you? She's just a girl! A smelly, stupid, farmer girl! She probably has germs, or worse, cooties!

Apparently, my inner self was about ten years old. Groaning, I racked my brain for reasons that I had taken a sudden turn for the worse. Maybe I was just nervous about becoming the mayor? No, that couldn't be it. I had been preparing to be the mayor since I was three!

Was it because Elli might know, and my secret might be exposed? No, that wasn't it either! Elli was easy to sway; I would be able to convince her that our little incident was just me being nervous. She was pretty gullible.

Then what was it?! Why had I suddenly grown into a soft, worried, sweaty-palmed _psycho_?! I had no idea what it was, but I definitely didn't like it.

Stopping in front of my house, I forced a grin upon my face before pushing the door open.

"How did it go?" My father bombarded me as I walked through the door. I tried to feign embarrassment, and I was slightly taken aback when I realized how easy it was. Hell, I was probably _blushing_.

"Um, it was good." I replied. He yelped with happiness, jumping up and down as if he was a sixteen-year-old girl who was just asked to prom. Sometimes, I just didn't understand him.

"Perfect! So, what do you think, Spring?" He asked hopefully. I nodded.

"Sure, why not."

"That gives us just enough time to visit with the family down in Crepe Village…" He muttered to himself, staring up at me with a look that pleaded I wouldn't blow up on him.

"_What_?!" I shrieked, trying my best not to rip my own face off. It was tough.

"Well, I promised your uncle Homiltan that we would have a family "get together" soon," He stated, air quoting with his pudgy fingers, "And he said that he would love to see us when you finally get married. Your cousin Gideon wants to see you, too."

"But… why?" I asked the only question that posed itself in my head. _Why was he making me suffer like this_?!

"Because we haven't seen the family in a while!" He protested.

"And you've chosen to do this _now_, of all times?!" I exclaimed, taking a fistfuls of my hair in my hands.

"Why not now? This is a joyous occasion!"

Yeah. Joyous my _ass_.

"Why can't they come here, then?" I asked in exasperation.

"Your uncle Homiltan is in a wheel chair, remember? He can't travel easily! It would mean the world to him if we went to Crepe Village."

"Creep Village? Who came up with that name?" I asked in an accusing tone. I knew I wasn't making this easy on my father… but it was my fake wedding, god damnit! And my family… they certainly were strange.

"Cr-_eh_-pe. You know, the French pancake?"

"Who names a village after a breakfast food?" I asked absentmindedly. My father merely glared at me before launching into his next tirade.

"Regardless, you're going. And so is Angela. Don't you want to see uncle Homiltan and cousin Gideon? Or your aunt Himoltana and cousin Gina? Grandpa Hamoltin will be there, too!"

Disregarding the fact that my whole family had rather ridiculous names, I clenched my fists and shook my head feverishly.

"I can't believe this is happening." I muttered to myself, feeling absolutely and completely enraged about this whole predicament. My father shrugged.

"Sorry, son. It is what it is."

And with that, he whistled his way into the kitchen, spewing out mindless ideas about the wedding, and the wedding theme, and the wedding cake, and the wedding reception, and the wedding _blah blah blah_! If I heard the word wedding one more time, I was going to scream.

"What are you going to do about your wedding tuxedo?" He asked from the kitchen. Rapidly, I ran up the stairs and flung myself onto the bed. When my face was safely in my pillow, I screamed. Loud and hard.

**A/N: I know, I know, there was a bit of a rapid change in the story. I just wanted to take the time to explain my actions: The reason Gill is suddenly acting so strange is that he's never felt any sort of admiration or affection for someone. I'm not saying he likes her, but he doesn't hate her. And that scares him. So, if you were confused on why he was being so weird, there you go. It is just the way I pictured Gill would react in such a situation. Anyways, let me know what you thought!**


	6. Creep Village

**A/N: Ah, wow, I'm really sorry it took me so long to update. Just a lot of things going on... anyway, I really hope you guys like this chapter. I am upset because I'm not completely sure that I'm satisfied! Oh well. You guys are the judges! Enjoy!**

Fall turned to Winter faster than I could have ever imagined. The brown leaves with red accents soon fell to the ground and were covered in a blanket of soft, white snow. Oh, how I wish I could hibernate for the rest of this season. I could already tell it was going to be a rough Winter.

"Have you packed yet?" My father asked me one morning as I sipped a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows. I shook my head morosely, still dreading the day that we had to visit Creep Village. Er, Crepe Village. Same difference.

"Gilbert! We are leaving tomorrow!" He exclaimed, causing me to dribble hot chocolate down my chin and onto my navy blue vest.

"Tomorrow?" I cried, feeling my face drop. He nodded slowly.

"You've known about this for a while, now." My father scolded me, shaking his head.

Angrily, I bolted up the stairs to shove some clothes into a dusty, old suitcase that lay carelessly in my closet. Why hadn't my father told me sooner? Actually, he probably did, but I most likely wasn't listening. Whatever. I was so sick of all this hubbub; I just wanted to be the mayor for Goddess's sake! Why did my father have to ruin that?

Thankfully, I had told Angela about this little trip the day after my father told me. She, of course, didn't take it very well. I didn't expect her to. I wasn't very thrilled about spending the weekend with her, either.

Sort of.

_Ah_, I thought to myself, _stop thinking about Angela and the trip… just focus on packing_.

When I was finished putting all of my clothes into the suitcase, I headed back downstairs to finish my hot chocolate. But alas, I had to endure my father's nagging as well.

"Now, don't forget about Uncle Homiltan's condition. Please try to be sensitive to the paralysis; for it was quite recently that he had the accident. And remember that Gideon _hates _his full name: call him Gid."

"Gid?!"

"Yes, he's like you in that aspect, isn't he?"

Yeah, except my name didn't sound ridiculous.

"Sure." I responded.

"Good. Now, Aunt Himoltana has offered to create your wedding outfit _from scratch_!" My father exclaimed, "How does that sound?"

"Um… is she a seamstress?"

"Heavens, no. But she has her heart set on it. Trust me, you'll love it."

This wedding was already getting more and more absurd by the minute; why not wear a tuxedo made by my aunt, who has probably never sewn anything in her life? It was just a molehill on the gigantic, preposterous mountain that was my life.

After listening to him babble on about Crepe Village for another twenty minutes, I retreated to my room where I stayed for the rest of the night. For the first time in a while, I barely slept. My stomach rumbled and bubbled at the thought of leaving the town with Angela, and actually having to pretend that we were newlyweds. Sure, it was easy doing that around my father… he was oblivious to the situation. But to people outside Waffle Town? I was really going to have to exaggerate on the theatrics.

When I finally fell asleep, it wasn't for long. I woke up two hours later, cranky and exhausted. As my father herded me out of my room, all I could think of was the long, three-hour boat ride to Creep Village with Angela. I shuddered uncontrollably.

And it didn't help that as soon as we got on the ferry, my father got seasick.

"You kids have… fun now," He choked out as he grasped his stomach with his pudgy hand, "I'm just gonna go d-down here."

He pointed to the tiny bathroom that he probably wouldn't even fit in and waddled towards it, moaning and groaning all the way.

"Okay," I began, seating Angela down on the shiny, planked flooring of the boat, "There are some things you need to know about my family."

She cocked her head to the side in interest as she blinked. At that moment, I took the time to truly look at her for the first time today. She had actually _tried _to look pretty. Er, I mean, decent. Yeah, decent.

She had a on a navy blue sweater with dark pants and boots. Her hair was neatly combed and shiny (and it probably smelled like a fusion of vanilla and coconut), and she even put on makeup! What's that silly goop the girls put on their eyelashes? Mosscara or something? Anyway, it looked good.

"Hellooo? Earth to Gill?" She asked, snapping me out of my trance. I shook my head a little, and she laughed at me.

"Er, ahem, so my family is really… weird." I commented. She looked amused as I continued to tell her what my father had told me the day before. She seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself when I told her of my family's oddities and quirks.

"First and foremost, there's Grandpa Hamoltin-"

"Wait, your grandfather's name is Hamilton, too?" She interrupted me.

"No… well, yes, the spelling is different, though. Regardless! Grandpa Hamoltin is, well… he's a jerk."

"What?"

"He doesn't really like anyone, so don't try to get on his good side. And then there is my uncle Homiltan, who is in a wheelchair, so try to be sensitive," I stated with a snort. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a complete bitch, you know. You just bring out that quality in me." She replied, sticking her tongue out at me. I felt a blush creep onto my face, but I quickly disregarded her comment.

"Whatever. Now, my aunt Himoltana is sort of nuts, so just play along with whatever she says. And her daughter, Gina, is overly sweet. I'm talking ridiculously saccharine, to the point where you just want to gag. And last but not least, there is Gideon. He's a real spoiled brat. Oh, and call him 'Gid', apparently he likes being called by that."

Angela giggled a little bit, causing my insides to twist uncomfortably.

"What's so funny, _dear_?" I asked maliciously.

"You and Gideon sound so much alike!" She exclaimed in a joking tone. I frowned.

"Oh, shut up!" I replied, laughing a little myself. Me? And Gideon? _Alike_? That was a good one.

"Is that all?" She asked after she calmed down. I nodded.

"Yeah, but trust me, it's not going to be easy." I replied. Looking deep in thought, she stared blankly at her fingernails and seemed to be muttering to herself, "What is it?"

"How are we going to… you know, act around them?" She asked in a semi-nervous tone. I frowned a bit.

"I didn't really think about that."

That was a complete lie. I had thought about it since the moment my father told me we were visiting Creep Village. What would we say to each other? Would they be suspicious? So many questions swirled about in my mind as I stared at my bride-to-be (snort).

"We should just act as normal as we can," She concluded, pinching her chin between her index finger and thumb, "Nothing would suck more than being found out this late in the game."

I nodded in agreement. But what was normal, anyhow? Holding hands, and calling each other "darling", "dear", and "the sunshine that brightens my day"? I had no clue. Relationships weren't a normal thing to me like they probably were for her.

As I stared at her, her nervous face didn't seem to falter. She bit her nails contemplatively as she stared past my head. In a sudden fit of insanity, I tried to force a smile.

"Don't worry," I choked out, feeling odd about my sudden attempt at sentimentality, "You'll be fine."

And then she did something I would have never expected. She didn't snort and laugh at me. She didn't make a snide comment. She, for once, smiled back; her face crinkled like paper under the melting sun.

"Thank you."

My heart felt swollen as my father emerged from the bathroom, wiping his brow in exhaustion. Talk about awful timing.

"Phew," He commented, "Glad _that's _over!"

Looking jovial once again, he leaned against the side of the ship. After a few moments of staring out onto the horizon, his smile faded and his face turned the slightest shade of green again.

"Oh, Goddess." He muttered as he hurled himself towards the bathroom once more. Angela and I laughed outwardly at the sight of my father disappearing behind that tiny bathroom door.

"So, um, about the wedding," Angela began after we had finished laughing, "What do you think about… blue?"

"Blue for what?" I asked.

"Well, for my dress. Not a deep blue, but a really light shade? I think it would look nice." She commented, staring directly at me. I felt my eyes widen. She had never openly talked about the wedding before, and now that I thought about it, there was a lot to plan.

"Yeah, that would look nice." I replied, my face flushing uncomfortably. She nodded thoughtfully.

"And maybe I could hold a bouquet of Forget-Me-Nots? They're my favorite," She thought aloud, looking kind of… excited? Jeez, if I didn't know any better, I would have thought we were both going insane. Ah, well. Just a little longer until all of this was over.

"Go for it." I replied tersely. I had suddenly grown mildly angry with myself. Here she was, thinking of a wedding she could barely even call her own. Part of me was mad at myself for taking the real wedding experience away from her, and the other part of me thought it was her fault for accepting my 'proposal' in the first place.

Why was I so freakin' indecisive?

I huffed my chest out in aggravation and grew very silent, listening to the waves splash and slam against the sides of the boat. From the other side of the boat, I heard Pascal, the ferry's captain, sigh happily as he stared onto the horizon.

"Something about the ocean… it's just so peaceful." He said to himself. Angela and I immediately glanced at each other and chuckled silently. What a nutcase! "I wish I could stay out here for the rest of my life."

As he continued to mutter unheard things under his breath, Angela and I were rolling around on the rickety ferry floor, trying our hardest to contain our chuckles. It felt good, too. I hadn't laughed so hard in… well, probably ever.

When he started to mention things like "the feel of the cool sea spray against my face… it's like heaven", we couldn't contain our laughter. I accidentally let one giggle slip out, and he immediately turned his head around and frowned.

"What're you laughing about?" He asked, sounding hurt. We both immediately stopped and sat up straight like little children getting reprimanded, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

As soon as he turned back around, we let the smiles crack onto our faces once more, but we didn't dare laugh. All at once, I felt like a child again. And it was… refreshing.

After another hour of sitting on the boat, we finally arrived at our destination. The town looked, well… familiar, to say the least. My father clambered out of the bathroom looking disheveled, but he was smiling. Touching up his hair a bit, he stepped off the ferry with a regal charm as my uncle Homiltan and Gideon greeted him. A slur of happy greetings and forced laughter filled the air as Angela and I stood by awkwardly, not sure what to do. Hastily, I grabbed her hand, having forgotten that we were now "engaged".

"Oh, Gilbert! You look so much older from the last time I saw you! How long ago was that? Three years?" My uncle blabbered, causing me to turn scarlet. So far, I had done a good job keeping my full name a secret from Angela. I heard her snort beside me, but she caught herself and began to sputter noisily, "And this must be your wife?"

"Yes," I nodded hastily, "She is my wife."

From behind my uncle's clunking wheelchair was Gideon, looking snide. His jet-black hair was slicked to his head, and his pale skin glowed in the sunlight. I watched as his jade eyes looked at Angela, then me, then back to Angela. He smirked.

"Hello, little cousin," He drawled in a nasty tone. I rolled my eyes. I was only younger than him by two seasons, yet he insisted on calling me his _little cousin_, "And this must be… Angela, is it?"

She nodded, looking clearly uncomfortable. He gave her a smirk worthy of a wolf ready to devour its prey.

"Shall we head to the house, then?" My uncle commented, clearly sensing the tension. We nodded and grabbed out suitcases, following my uncle into the bright town.

In theory, it looked and felt the same way as Waffle Town. The buildings were bright and looked as if you would find them in the toy box of a small child. The people were friendly (although creepily familiar) and they greeted us with smiles and greetings. Soon, we filed into my uncle's house, feeling nervous and jittery as his chair squeaked in the dead silence.

"Take a seat, take a seat." He coerced us, pointing to a plush, green couch. The three of us flopped onto the couch without hesitance. Even my father looked exhausted.

"So!" He exclaimed, his face red, "How have you two been? It sure has been a while. When are Himoltana and Gina getting here?"

My uncle slumped slightly in his chair, looking relaxed as he replied, "Oh, it's been fine. Been some shady characters drifting out of this village, though… it worries me. Himoltana should be here by dinner, with Gina as well. Dad will be here tomorrow, I hope."

We all nodded, feeling slightly awkward in the house. It wasn't lavish, but it wasn't mundane either. It was right in the middle. The atmosphere, although it seemed inviting, was rather uncomfortable, as everyone seemed to fidget uncontrollably.

"And you, Gideon?" My father asked. Gideon gave him a death stare, "Er, I mean, Gid. How have you been?"

"Fine, just fine," He replied with a phony grin. My father, rather frustrated with the lack of conversation, decided to go for another one,

"How are the ladies treating you, eh?" He asked in a cheery tone, nudging my cousin in the ribs. I could tell he was aggravated, but he did a very good job at hiding it. Suddenly, I felt a smirk play across my face. I had remembered why we were here in the first place: I was getting _married_! Hah! I finally one-upped him on something.

"Not bad." He replied. I could tell he was having a jolly good time pissing my father off. Before he could ask another question, my uncle let out a 'pshaw'.

"Oh, he's being modest!" He exclaimed, gripping the sides of his wheelchair, "He's got himself a little girlfriend. Lucy's her name. Such a sweet girl… will she be coming for dinner tonight?"

"Not tonight." Gideon said. I, again, felt myself loosen up a bit, "But tomorrow, for sure."

Damn it.

"How pleasant." My father commented, seemingly distracted. He bit his bottom lip and stared intensely at his shoes.

"Would you like to see your rooms?" My uncle asked, wheeling towards the kitchen, "Right this way."

We all stood and followed him through the kitchen and dining room before we came upon a rather quaint guest bedroom.

"This is where Angela and Gill will be sleeping," My uncle said as he stopped in the middle of the room and smiled warmly. I felt my face drop dramatically, but I quickly put on a smile (or attempted to, anyway). Next to me, I heard Angela gasp, almost inaudibly. My cousin crossed his arms over his chest and looked smug.

"This is, ahem, very nice." Angela said in a phony cheery voice. I nodded in agreement, trying to keep a straight face. Why was it like I had a curse put on me? I couldn't even remember the last time something good happened. At least, since this whole marriage thing. My uncle, Gideon, and my father went to the adjacent room, but Angela and I stayed behind.

"What the hell?!" She whispered sharply as soon as they were in the other room. I sighed in agreement, searching for the words to describe this situation, but the only word that ran through my head was "shit".

"Helloooo?" A high-pitched voice called from the living room. I immediately recognized the voice, followed by another voice that closely resembled a chipmunk's. It was my aunt and my other cousin. I pulled Angela by the hand back to the living room where we found my aunt, lugging a large bag behind her while Gina smiled largely and looked around at the house.

"Gilly!" She squealed, her blonde hair swinging behind her as she ran forward and tightly squeezed me. I gulped, "Oh, and who is this? You must be his wife, huh? Wow, so glad to meet you!"

Angela managed a weak smile, but it was nothing compared to my cousin's. Behind her, my aunt smiled oddly at Angela and I, her giant spectacles magnifying her eyes to an intense level. Unlike most of the adults in my family, she was rail thin with branch-like arms and legs and a large head of curly, blonde hair. She reached out a shaking hand toward Angela.

"H-Hello, I'm Himoltana. Nice to meet you." She squeaked. After she greeted me as well, the rest of the bunch came into the room and exchanged pleasantries.

"Let's all head to the dining room, shall we? I think dinner should almost be ready… Gideon is quite the cook!" My uncle said loudly as he smiled at his son, who smirked back in a saccharine manner. Ugh.

Quietly, we filed into the dining room and sat down. I looked around at the overall classiness of the room. It was a long, somewhat narrow room with off-white walls and deep, pine green carpet. In the corner of the large room was a wooden piano with a fake, potted plant sitting next to it.

After a few moments, Gideon waltzed into the room with a silver platter in his hand. He placed it onto the table and everyone 'oohed' and 'ahhed' as he revealed a large, golden brown turkey. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of utensils clinking and scraping against each other.

"Oh, I don't know about this." My aunt commented, staring at the slice of turkey sitting in front of her, "I've been trying this new vegetarian thing."

Gideon didn't even try to hide his anger as he glared at her, and muttered something like 'I'll go make you a freakin' sandwich, then'. She didn't seem to notice. Instead, she sipped her water carefully as her bespectacled eyes darted around mysteriously. As I thought about how much she looked like an alien with her magnified glasses, she turned to me and said,

"So, Gilbert, do you still play the piano?"

Ignoring the stifled giggles from Angela (I kicked her shin to make her shut up, but it just made her snicker more), I shrugged my shoulders. Truth was, I used to play when I was younger, but I probably wasn't very good at it.

"Go on, Gill," Gina persuaded me as she smiled sweetly, "I'm sure you're just as good as you used to be!"

Now Angela had calmed down and was staring at me intently. Hell, everyone was staring at me intently. I felt a blush seep through my cheeks.

"Um, I really shouldn't, it's been a while, I-I don't know." I sputtered, feeling completely idiotic. But then I saw Angela smile a little and nod toward the piano, motioning for me to play. Reluctantly, I got up and sat at the old, meager piano bench and adjusted my position. Rifling through the songs in my head, I picked one of my favorites, Clair de Lune, and began.

As I let my fingers roam the piano as if it was a new territory all over again, I felt good. I had studied the music and theory until I was seventeen years old, but it felt like it was just yesterday that the tinkling of the keys were ringing through my ears. Although it was rather clumsy, I finished and stood, feeling completely abashed. I wasn't used to the spotlight being on me.

Everyone clapped merrily (except for Gideon, he snarled) and we went back to eating the turkey dinner. It wasn't until later, when we were in the safe confines of our bedroom, that Angela brought it up.

"I didn't know you played the piano." She stated plainly as she rifled through her suitcase, flinging pajamas onto the ground behind her. I shrugged.

"Well, it's not like we know a lot about each other in the first place." I replied rather bitterly. I sat down on the bed and began swinging my legs to and fro when she kept prodding,

"I've never seen a piano in your house, though. Did you stop playing?" She asked, completely ignoring my response. Again, I shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant.

"Yeah, when I was seventeen." I replied as she closed the clasp on her suitcase and stood.

"Why'd you stop?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering why she cared in the first place. It's not like we needed to know a lot about each other for this fake wedding to work out. Then again, maybe she was just making small talk so it wouldn't be awkward. She continued to stare at me as I thought of the actual reason why I had stopped. Sighing, I opened my mouth to talk,

"Uh, well, I guess… um, after my mom died, I just didn't really have a passion for it anymore." I replied in all honestly, feeling tingly. I wasn't used to civil conversations, about _me_. I normally didn't like talking about myself, but for some reason, I suddenly wanted to.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's fine, don't worry about it." I responded. A fathomless silence filled the room for a few moments before she opened her mouth to speak again,

"Do you miss it?" She asked, her voice no louder than a whisper.

"…Yeah, I guess I do," I replied after a few seconds of thinking. She grinned a little.

"Well, you're very good at it!" She exclaimed happily, smiling fully now. I couldn't help but reciprocate, but for some reason I couldn't choke out a thank you. Compliments weren't really common, so usually I wasn't sure what to do, "Okay, so what are we going to do about this sleeping arrangement?"

"Uh, well," I sputtered, suddenly embarrassed. I looked down at the rather small bed I was sitting on, imagining Angela and I being squished together while trying to sleep. Psh. Sleep? If I had to share a bed with her, there would definitely be no sleeping going on.

_Oh Goddess, that sounded so __**wrong**_!

"I guess we will just have to deal, eh?" She asked, picking up her pajamas and heading for the hallway, "I'll be right back."

As soon as the door shut behind her, I flopped onto the bed with a deep sigh. Never had I been so jittery in my life! Sharing a bed with… _her_? That would be like camping out under an elephant! Dangerous and… just downright scary. It would be a miracle if we didn't end up choking each other by morning.

I waited for the longest two minutes of my life before she came back into the room, dressed in a light pink, long-sleeved button-up and white bottoms. My face was probably the color of her top.

"Now or never, huh? I hope you're not a kicker," She commented nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal. While here I was, trying to think of excuses to get out of this. I felt sick, and I might throw up on her? No, that's way too disgusting. How about lie and say I'm a sleep-talker? Nah, she would probably think that to be amusing.

"Are you going to lie down, or what?" She asked. With wide eyes, I turned around to stare at her lounging on one of the two pillows. I could have died.

"Uh, yeah, let me turn off the lights." I choked, standing to turn off the light switch. The room went instantly black, and I tried desperately to fumble around the room. After at least a minute of reaching out blindly into the dark, I stubbed my toe on the bed frame.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, holding my foot in my hand. She laughed and turned on a lamp next to the bed, "Why didn't you turn that on earlier?" I asked, desperately.

"'Cause it was funny." She said simply with a smile. I couldn't help but feel like I was going to pass out.

Carefully, I slipped under the sheets of the bed without making any skin contact with her. After a few minutes of trying to calm my nerves, she flipped off the light and adjusted a little in the bed, causing her hand to brush my side. I shivered.

"Goodnight." She breathed after a moment, seemingly already tired.

"G-Goodnight."

My muscles were tense as her breathing slowed. After at least half an hour, she was out cold and mumbling something incoherent as she rolled over onto her side. I shut my eyes tightly and tried to think of something else. _Anything_ else. But I couldn't! The only thing my mind pointed to was her! That blasted, evil, vile, wretched, beautiful, funny, caring…

"Damnit!" I whispered aloud as I clenched my fists together. What was wrong with me? Angela shifted next to my body and, unexpectedly, grabbed my arm with her hand and laced her other arm through. I gasped lightly as she continued to hug my arm as if it was a teddy bear. Oddly enough, it… soothed me.

Needless to say, I fell asleep within ten minutes.

And needless to say, we woke up entangled in each other, smiling.

**A/N: So? I know this chapter wasn't very funny... I'm sorry! But I did give you a little romance in there, so hopefully it compensated. Review, please!**


	7. Practice

**A/N: Yay! I have finally found the time to update. I hope that you guys enjoy! **

"Mnnrnffh?" was the first noise I heard that morning when I found myself entangled in a mess of sheets and Angela's limbs. Talk about a rude awakening. As soon as her auburn-eyes fluttered open, things got awkward. Quickly and efficiently, we (somehow) untangled ourselves and got out of the bed, not sure where to go from there. Hurriedly, she kneeled next to her suitcase and tried forcing it open, but it was caught. Overwhelmed by the awkwardness in the room combined with the frantic noise of her trying to open her stubborn suitcase, she took the case in her arms and bolted towards the bathroom without a word. Groaning outwardly, I flopped onto the bed and outstretched my arms.

If this was how we were going to wake up every morning, how awkward was the honeymoon going to be?

"Ha-ha," I laughed to myself. I was pretty sure we were going to get divorced days after the wedding at the rate this was going. Before I could delve deeper into my thoughts, I heard a familiar drawl in the hallway, followed by a high-pitched giggle. Furtively, I stood from the bed peeked through the crack in the door. At the end of the long, narrow hallway was Gideon and Angela. Apparently, he had said some joke that had her in stitches, with the way that girl was laughing.

"You do a really good impression of Gill!" She exclaimed, clutching her stomach. I clenched my fists at my sides as I continued to watch this little spectacle, "Do it again!"

"Okay," My cousin replied. Gathering himself up a bit, he stood up very straight and stuck out his lower lip in a pouting manner. Furrowing his brow, he said, "But _father_, I don't _want _to clean my room! Ugh! This is _so _unfair."

Angela didn't bother holding back her awful, ear-busting guffaws. I frowned significantly as my cousin walked towards the steps with his head held high in a snooty fashion.

"I do _not _look like that!" I whispered to myself as I shut the door and slumped. Angela thought that was… funny? Did she really think of me as a big joke? Just some snotty, over-confident, daddy's boy? I felt a pang in my chest as I got dressed and headed down the stairs to greet my family.

"Hmph." Was the greeting I received from my grandfather, who, from the looks of it, had just arrived. His large, white mustache twitched as he looked me up and down, "You need some meat on yer bones, boy. You look like a freakin' skeleton."

His gruff voice boomed throughout the house as he reached a chubby hand towards my arm and pinched it. I winced.

"Thanks, grandpa. Nice to see you to." I said in a mock-polite voice, but he didn't catch my sarcasm. Instead, he glanced around the room for a bit.

"Where's your bride? Don't tell me I came all the way here for some hoax," He coughed out, looking around. I pointed towards Angela.

"There she is," I said. He frowned as she tried to look alert. Gideon grinned as he stood next to her. I couldn't help but notice that their arms were touching.

"Oh really? For a second, I thought she was Gideon's girl. Hm." He pondered aloud to himself. Again, my cousin shined his pearly whites as Angela reddened and approached me. I grasped her hand with force, feeling her knuckles crack as she gasped a little. I smirked.

"Yes, this is Angela." I said in a saccharine tone. At this moment, Gina trotted down the steps, squealing.

"Grandpappy!" She exclaimed, rushing down the wooden stairs with her arms outstretched. Another 'hmph' escaped him as she tried wrapping her tiny arms around his large stomach. He barely responded. My aunt Himoltana ventured her way down the stairs as well, looking frazzled.

"Oh, Gill, there you are." She greeted me, her bespectacled eyes darting to and fro, "I want you to come look at your tuxedo."

"You're making it… now?" I asked uneasily. She nodded.

"Yes I am. Why don't the two of you come look? I just want to make sure you like it." She squeaked as she headed towards her room. Shrugging, I pulled Angela roughly up the stairs. The door to my aunt's room squeaked as I pushed it open hesitantly, not sure whether I should be excited or scared out of my mind.

When I saw the tux, I figured that being scared out of my mind was about the right emotion.

"It's… nice." Angela said from next to me. I could feel her hand squirming in mine as she stifled her laughter. Or was it tears she was trying to hold back? Who knew. I would probably cry myself if the wedding was real.

My aunt took a hold of the tux jacket and held it up in the air. Little bits of string were popping out in every which way, and the fabric was… eccentric, to say the least. Was it some sort of tweed? Or maybe just really rough-looking yarn? The color was in between black and gray, and the buttons weren't evenly placed. Was this some sort of joke?

"What do you think? I know it's a little messy right now, but it'll be perfect by the time the wedding rolls around!" She exclaimed, looking hopeful. I tried to muster a smile, but it probably looked like a very profound grimace. I couldn't help it.

"It-it's great!" I managed to choke out. That lie even felt weird for _me_: the master of all lies. She smiled.

"Perfect!" She said happily, "Now shoo! I must work!"

Boy, my family was weird. Her magnified eyes grew wide as she scuttled for her supplies. She shooed us away with her bony hands.

"We'll figure out how to ruin it later," I whispered tersely to Angela as soon as we were out of the room. I roughly yanked my hand out of hers and headed down the steps, still angry about being made fun of earlier this morning. She didn't make a noise, but she seemed utterly confused as we made our way to the breakfast table. My grandfather was already munching on a waffle.

"So, Angie," My grandfather said gruffly with a large piece of waffle sticking out of his mouth. Angela scowled. _Note to self: call her Angie as often as possible_, "What do you do for a living?"

The question was not a friendly, icebreaker sort of inquiry. It seemed like it was more of an interrogation in the works.

"I own a farm," She replied, still looking angry for the whole 'Angie' thing.

"Yes, she's quite prosperous!" My father intervened, "I gave the house a little over a year ago and she's already completely transformed it! Right, Angela?"

He was talking about her as if she was his prized daughter, and I was some deadbeat who hadn't accomplished anything. Thanks, pops.

"Impressive." My grandfather muttered, "How long have you two been together?"

Another interrogation question. I gulped as she looked over at me and forced a smile.

"Oh, not long. We've known each other for a while, but we just recently began, uh… dating." She replied hesitantly, but covered it up with her cheek-splitting grin. He shoved a piece of cantaloupe in his mouth as he mumbled something no one could decipher. Gotta love those awkward family reunions.

"So, what is on the agenda for today, Homiltan?" My father asked.

"Oh, I don't know! Would you all like to see the town?"

My aunt, Gina, Angela, my father, and my grandfather all nodded. I was forced to follow in suit, trying my best to look excited to tour good ol' Creep Village.

"Excellent! We could do that after breakfast. Gid, when do you think Lucy will be here?"

"Any minute now." My cousin replied curtly. I expected him to smirk in my direction, but instead he looked at Angela with an unexplainable expression on his face. Her shoulders slumped a little.

"Marvelous! I have yet to meet her. Is she nice? Oh, I'm going to feel so out of place with all these couples milling about, huh?" Gina babbled, her overly sweet voice driving me insane. Everyone simply looked at her in bewilderment, but she didn't seem to notice.

The rest of the breakfast was filled to the brim with idle conversations about nothing in particular. Lucy, Gideon's alleged girlfriend, finally arrived right as breakfast was being cleaned up. Needless to say, she looked somewhat… familiar.

She was definitely what you would call 'petite', with long, pink hair that was pulled into a playful ponytail. Her eyes were huge and her smile was pleasant. Angela had to do a double take as well when she saw her. Gideon kissed her cheek coolly when she arrived, but that was the extent of their physical contact.

I couldn't help but notice Angela's mood changing drastically. She seemed colder when Lucy showed up, and I had a few guesses as to why she had suddenly changed. For some reason, it made me… angry? Nah, that wasn't it.

"Are you guys ready for a tour?" My uncle asked as he wheeled himself out of the house. A light layer of clouds covered the sky as we ventured outside, "First, we'll head for the Village Plaza..."

Throughout the tour, I couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu overwhelming me. Every corner I turned was recognizable; every person I passed was familiar… I felt like I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone. Unfortunately for me, my mind was kept off of these uncanny coincidences as I tried desperately to get Angela away from Gideon. Yet for some reason, she seemed to be attached to his side.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked her after I pulled her aside while at the fish shop. A younger man with white hair stared at her and I through wide eyes, but turned around when he noticed that it was a private conversation.

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking clearly annoyed.

"Why are you hanging around my cousin so much?"

She was clearly taken aback from my question. Her eyes grew large, and her eyes refused to meet mine as she wrung her hands delicately.

"I don't know what you mean." She stated, looking down at her feet.

"Don't tell me," I pleaded, "you have a crush on him."

Her eyes grew even wider, if possible. She backed herself into a corner and shook her head violently. But it was completely obvious that my statement was true.

"No! What? Why would you think that?" She asked in an accused tone. I shrugged.

"Well, the fact that you've been hanging around him all day could be the reason. Oh, and what about this morning? You two were having quite the laugh _making fun _of me."

"I-" She opened her mouth, but closed it with a thoughtful look on her face. She was at a loss for words.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. And if you were smart, you'd stay away from him. He's not what he seems to be."

And with that, I pushed past her and caught up with my cousin, Gina. I needed someone to distract me while I let my anger slowly dissipate. She immediately began rambling about how beautiful Crepe Village was, and about the wedding, and blah blah blah. For the rest of the tour, I stared straight ahead of me, careful not to catch a glimpse of Angela. How could she possibly like that… that creep?

Okay, so I had to admit I was jealous. Obviously, at the time, I wouldn't admit it. But I was green with envy for my cousin, the one who always got the attention. A shudder rolled through me as I thought about it.

Eventually, we made it to the Éclair Inn for dinner. Towards the end of the tour, my grandfather was practically doubled over in exhaustion. He huffed and puffed as his small, pudgy legs traveled as fast as they could. Which, believe me, wasn't very fast. Finally, we were seated at the Inn and an orange-haired, snooty waiter shoved menus in front of noses.

"Oh everything here looks so good!" Gina exclaimed as her eyes scoured the menu. By now, everyone learned to just ignore her overly enthusiastic comments and remarks.

Soon, the snobby waiter came back to take our drink orders. By the time all the wine and water was passed around the table, my grandfather had already begun criticizing the service. To shut him up, my father rose from his chair with a wine glass in his hand.

"I would like to propose a toast!" He exclaimed. Everyone smiled up at him as he continued, "To my son and his bride-to-be, Angela!"

Everyone clinked their glasses as my father launched into a clearly rehearsed speech about loving the one your with, and unity, and all this mumbo-jumbo. It wasn't until Gina piped up that I began to listen.

"You two are just so cute!" She said happily, "Gilly, why don't you give her a kiss?"

The table grew dead silent. I could feel my heart launch itself into my throat as I stared down at Angela. Her jaw had fallen a bit, but she quickly caught it and looked at me, eyes filled with fear. We had never discussed _this _part of our 'marriage'. Heck, the only person I had ever kissed was Maya from the Sundae Inn when we were about six years old. But _shh_, you didn't hear that from me.

"Well?" Gideon chided. Gulping, we exchanged looks that screamed 'now-or-never' as we leaned in just a little. After what seemed like an eternity of inching closer and closer to her face, our lips touched. An energetic surge flowed through me as we leaned in a little closer. The 'aww's and the indisputable snort from Gideon had been drowned out as I felt Angela smile a little on my mouth. It was a bittersweet feeling; I was still angry about our small argument earlier in the day, but for now, it had been forgotten. We finally pulled out of the kiss and stared at my family. They all smiled.

Well, except for my grandfather. He was still looking at the menu.

"I have no doubts that you two will go the distance." My father, still standing, said in all seriousness. Gina and my aunt nodded their heads in agreement. I suddenly felt very guilty about this whole situation; I was fooling everyone. I was giving my father hopes for having a normal son, and it felt so wrong. I tried my hardest to push those feelings aside for the time being.

Dinner came about twenty minutes after our little 'spectacle', and everyone ravenously ate as if it was the last meal of their lives. All that walking sure made a person hungry. By the time we were heading back to my uncle's house, it was dark outside and the Creep villagers were retreating back to their homes. All of us were tired as hell, except for my aunt, who was alert and focused.

"I need to finish that tux of yours, Gilbert," She said as we walked through the door. Her frizzy, blonde hair looked wild as she trotted up the stairs. Her eyes, always filled with some sort of worry, were darting around. I was definitely going to have to find a way to sabotage that tuxedo. I wouldn't wear that if someone _paid _me.

"How about a glass of champagne, eh?" My uncle asked us as soon as my aunt had scuttled up the stairs. Everyone shrugged and took a seat at the table, "Gideon, could you serve our guests, please?"

The good-for-nothing chump scowled, but headed into the kitchen anyway. Everyone seemed to collapse into the kitchen chairs as Gideon returned with a bottle of champagne and some glasses. The room stayed silent as he poured everyone a glass. I sipped mine carefully; still jittery about what had happened at the restaurant. Angela seemed jumpy as well, but we both didn't dare to look straight at each other.

"So what are your plans for mayor, hm?" My uncle asked me. I smiled a little, seeing the possibilities rush through my head.

"Oh, I don't know," I stated modestly, taking a look at my cousin to make sure he was listening, "There is so much to do, being the mayor. I think I'll just try to keep it as simple as possible."

My father smiled as Gideon scowled outwardly. After all, he was just the stable boy at the nearby ranch. I laughed a little to myself as I thought of him with overalls and a pitchfork.

"When will you become mayor, Gid?" Lucy asked her boyfriend in a smooth, velvety voice. He snorted, but didn't respond. It was obviously a touchy subject, and everyone sensed it.

"So Gilly, are you two going to have any 'heirs to the throne' running around any time soon?" Gina asked, trying to change the subject. Too bad it was one of the questions I was dreading to hear. I coughed as the bubbles from the champagne danced in my throat. Angela had a similar reaction, but we tried to cover it up by laughing awkwardly.

"We haven't really… discussed it yet." I replied. Angela nodded vigorously at this comment, as the adults just stared blankly at us.

"Well surely you want children, don't you Gilbert?" My father asked. I glared at him, "Um, I mean, Gill?"

"Of course!" Angela intervened, "It's just a little early to be thinking about that, is it not?"

My father nodded and stayed silent. Damn his prodding! The awkwardness reached a new level as the table grew silent. Finally, my uncle and my father began talking about the departure plans for tomorrow, and we could all let go of the breaths we were holding in. However, I couldn't get the picture of little Gilangela children running around, screaming and crying. It was a horrifying thought.

After a few glasses of champagne, Lucy decided to head home. Gideon didn't even seem remotely unhappy to see her leave. As soon as she was out the door, he 'conveniently' switched seats at the dinner table: right next to Angela. She seemed to blush when he scooted his chair closer to her, and she even had the audacity to giggle like a little schoolgirl when he poured her more champagne. I wanted to vomit.

At around twelve at night, Angela and I (finally) retreated to our room. Gideon looked disappointed as I grasped her hand before we said our goodnights. Serves him right.

"I really don't think it's smart for you to be hanging on my cousin like that." I said matter-of-factly when we made it up to our room. She let out a laugh.

"Since when do you run my life, huh?" She asked as she took her hair out of that high ponytail of hers. Shaking her head from side to side, her hair flipped about wildly before it finally settled in a perfect oval around her face. I almost smiled.

"Listen to me," I said, suddenly serious, "It's just not smart."

She seethed a little before grasping her suitcase and flinging it open. She began tearing through her clothes for something to wear to bed.

"Why is that? What are you keeping from me that's 'so bad' about him?" She asked angrily. I sighed as my mind drifted to the one place I so desperately wanted to avoid.

"… I don't know if I should say it." I replied hesitantly. This time, she could tell my demeanor was grave. She stopped scouring through her suitcase and whirled around to look at me.

"Is it that bad?" She asked, her brow creasing in confusion. I gulped.

"Well… let's just say my cousin isn't… stable." I said quietly. Her eyes widened, but she didn't dare speak, "You know how my uncle is in a wheel chair?"

"Yeah," She squeaked.

"It's sort of Gideon's fault." I whispered harshly, feeling the words tumble out of my mouth. She gasped a little, but mainly she just stared at me in disbelief.

"What- How? I don't get it." She sputtered, shaking her head. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples thoroughly before going on.

"It was last year. I guess they were having an argument near the top of the stairs. I mean, he didn't deliberately _push _my uncle, but… I guess he sort of shoved past him and… well, now he's…"

"Wow."

"Yeah. I mean, did you notice that basically no one talks to him except for my uncle and my father? They all think he's crazy." I stated, wringing my hands together nervously.

She flopped onto the bed and looked at me blankly, clearly befuddled about all of this. I was the exact same way when I found out. Slowly, she stood and began fiddling with her suitcase again, trying to find some clean pajamas. She came up short.

"I have some pajamas you can borrow… if you want." I said quietly. She nodded. Sifting through my things, I threw her some navy blue pajama pants and a white sleeping shirt. She held the two items up, as if examining them, before she left the room without a word. I felt bad for exposing such a family secret, but… she had to know. When she came back into the room, she seemed to have snapped out of her daze. She grinned goofily as she emerged. The clothes looked like they were swallowing her whole.

"How do I look?" She asked in a low voice as she struck a pose. I laughed and gave her a thumbs up. The room grew still as she sat on the bed and crossed one leg over the other. The thoughts of Gideon had emptied out of my mind for now, and for the moment I was thinking about that kiss. My lips tingled.

"So, Gilbert, when are we popping out a kid, hm?" She asked, laughing at her own little joke. It was rather silly how this whole marriage seemed to be a prank to the both of us. I wanted to laugh, but instead I glared.

"If you call me Gilbert, I'll be forced to call you Angie." I stated in all seriousness as I put my hands on my hips. She snorted.

"Hell no!"

Smirking at her, I sat on the other edge of the bed and sprawled my legs in front of me.

"I can't believe your family wanted us to kiss," She said quietly. Her tone was still joking, but not as much as before. I immediately tensed.

"Yeah, that was… unexpected." I replied, trying to seem nonchalant about it. Hah, I was about as nonchalant as Julius at a shopping mall.

"Kind of funny though, you know?" She said. I sat up and looked at her, scratching the back of my head in the process.

"Sure, I guess."

"… You weren't too shabby." She cajoled, giggling a little. I felt a blush creep on to my face, but I tried desperately to cover it, "But do you want to know what I think?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Sure."

"I think… I think we need practice."

I struggled to catch my breath as she advanced toward me a little. When everything finally registered in my head, she was inches from my face. Centimeters. Millimeters. Her lips were on mine, barely at first, but then the force of her mouth on mine was overwhelming. I closed my eyes as she leaned in just a little bit more. I didn't even register how bizarre this whole situation was. For once, I let go of my thoughts.

It wasn't long until her hand found my neck, and mine found hers. My insides turned into knots and twists as the kiss deepened slightly. But just as quick as the kiss started, it ended.

"Goodnight." She whispered, her face still inches from mine, before she reached over to click off the lamp.

**A/N: So what do you think? Too soon? Let me know! Oh, extra brownie points to anyone who can guess who I modeled Gill's aunt after. If no one gets it, I'll give you a hint next time I update!**


	8. Mom?

**A/N: Thanks so much for your patience! It really is appreciated! I'm sorry for the long wait, I've been so swamped with my new job! Anyway, anyone who guessed Professor Trelawney from HP was right! Oh, and cow4brains07 - I had Gill play Clair de Lune because it is my personal favorite song to play on the piano, _not _because of Twilight. Trust me! Back on topic, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

The next morning was, needless to say, a little brighter than most.

I woke up in a tangled mess of sheets and, surprisingly, with a grin on my face as well. The sun shone brightly on the bed and it illuminated my wife-to-be's face as she stirred. She stretched her body on the bed and yawned in an unladylike fashion before sitting up and smiling at me. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun on the top of her head and my pajamas were still swallowing her whole, but… she was absolutely glowing.

"Good morning!" she said happily before standing and stretching once more. "Today is our last day here, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, you're right." I replied, completely forgetting about that little fact. It had only been a few days, but I still felt as if we had been in Creep Village for way too long. In a way, though, it hadn't been too unbearable. Getting away from Waffle Town meant getting away from expectant villagers who were absolutely thrilled about the 'marriage'. Still, I was getting sick of sweet ol' cousin Gideon and the circus clan that I liked to call my family.

"Let's head downstairs, hm?" she said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded and we both padded down the stairs in our pajamas; the faint smell of coffee filled my nostrils as we entered the kitchen.

"'Morning, sleepyheads!" Gina greeted us as she shoved a plate of pancakes under our noses. My mouth watered on the spot. "We wanted to ensure you had a hearty breakfast before your long trip home!"

Angela and I forced smiles on our faces and sat down at the table where my father was already seated. His plate was completely empty save for a puddle of syrup. He didn't even bother saying 'hello'; he looked far too full to even move. Angela and I quietly forked pancake pieces into our mouths as my uncle spoke.

"So the wedding is in a little more than week, eh?" he asked before taking a sip of coffee. I began to cough and sputter as the pancake in my mouth went down the wrong hole. I never thought of it as so close. Angela patted my back as I attempted to regain composure. My uncle continued to stare at us, as if waiting for us to respond positively.

"Oh yeah, it's going to be great!" Angela exclaimed a little too enthusiastically, but he didn't seem to notice. Instead, he made a 'hm' noise and went back to his coffee. I looked over at Angela, who had turned completely red. Apparently she had forgotten, too. An awkward silence seemed to surround the kitchen as Gideon sauntered in and took a seat with a _huff_. My father burped noisily, earning a disgusted look from my bastard cousin and a chuckle from Gina. What an embarrassment.

"Well, I had a great time!" my father said happily, wiping his mouth of pancake crumbs. Angela and I nodded in silent agreement. "We have to get going, though. The ferry arrives at ten, and its already quarter 'til! Gill, have you packed your things?"

"Mhmm," I replied distractedly, still thinking about the wedding. Where would it be held? Who would attend? How in the world was I going to keep a straight face? For now, these questions would have to hold. My father began shooing Angela and I up the stairs to grab our things.

"This is so weird." Angela said to me as soon as we were in our room. I grunted in agreement as I hoisted my luggage into my arms. "I never really thought of the wedding as actual until now."

"I know. I still can't believe my father actually believes we're in love." I said with a small laugh, but then immediately regretted it. After last night… well, that probably was a bit of an awkward comment. Angela smiled strangely at me, and she was about to say something when a rather loud throat clearing interrupted us. My heart dropped into my stomach instantly. Whirling around, I saw Gideon emerge into the room with a large smirk on his smug, little face.

"Did I just hear what I think I heard?" he asked incredulously as his smirk grew into a full-blown, sadistic beam. Angela and I just stared at him in awe, not daring to open our mouths. "You two aren't actually in love? Why would you possibly be getting married if you weren't _in love_?"

"I didn't say in love," I tried to cover up my mistake, "I said in _glove_."

Gideon raised an eyebrow at me as he crossed his arms judgmentally. Boy, I was awful at lying.

"Sure. So, what's this little plan you've got going on here? Tricking your sweet, ol' daddy into thinking you two are in love?"

"Gideon, you can't tell him. Please, we've come so far." Angela pleaded, completely ruling out the idea of trying to convince him that he heard wrong.

"It'll come with a price, my love birds. First, tell me why," he demanded. I rolled my eyes before launching into the story, straight from the beginning. He was grinning like the Big Bad Wolf throughout the whole thing. When I finally finished, he clapped his hands together in delight and began to laugh.

"That's rich!" he exclaimed.

"Whatever. What's your 'price'? The sooner you let us know, the sooner we can get out of this hell hole." I said angrily. He laughed again.

"So you're going to be the mayor, hm? That's a high paying job, is it not?"

I sighed and nodded, hating the awful, condescending tone he was using.

"Perfect. How about… half of your monthly salary? How does that sound?" he asked. I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh. Well, sure, that's fine. 150G it is, then."

"No, no, _little _cousin. I'm talking annually; I want half of your monthly salary each month, of course!" he exclaimed jovially, like a child with a lollipop. My mouth dropped open, but how could I say no? Money or no money, I still wanted to be the mayor. After a minute-long debate in my head, I finally sighed and agreed.

"Fine. Let's go, Angela." I grabbed her hand forcefully and led her down the stairs to where my father was waiting.

"Come on, you two! We have to hurry!" he exclaimed as he motioned for us to speed up. Hauling our luggage clumsily down the stairs, we hastened our pace and quickly said goodbye to my relatives.

"I will have your tuxedo ready to go by the wedding, okay?" my aunt said shakily as she hugged me. I muttered 'mhmm' and kissed her cheek before pulling away hastily and heading out the door with Angela and my father. We arrived at the ferry just in time, and in an instant we were sailing towards Waffle Town once more.

_Goodbye, Creep Village,_ I thought to myself, _I hope I never have to visit you again_.

Similar to last time, my father was in the bathroom the whole time. This left Angela and I alone. Needless to say, we were both pretty frazzled.

"I can't _believe _this." I said angrily, running my hands through my hair.

"Well, there was nothing else you could do." She said blankly as she stared off into the sunset.

"I guess. But jeez, why does my cousin have to be such an ass?" I asked to no one in particular. She sighed, blowing a strand of hair out of her face in the process. She was being very docile about the situation and it was worrying me.

"Is something the matter?" I asked, trying to seem unconcerned. She shrugged plainly as she looked down at her fingernails, but eventually her apathetic expression changed to one of anxiety.

"I'm just… I'm apprehensive," she said finally. "You're entire family is absolutely ecstatic about the wedding. What happens when they find out it's a fake…?"

"They won't find out, trust me!" I said, trying to be reassuring. She buried her face in her hands dramatically.

"How do you know?" she asked in a muffled voice. That was a good question.

"Just trust me, all right? No one will ever know."

She looked up at me with wide, hopeful eyes. And she smiled.

"I hope you're right."

And that was that. For the rest of the boat ride, we tried to steer clear from any conversation that involved weddings, marriage, relationships, family, plans, and technically anything that was even moderately related to our current predicament. By the time we reached Waffle Town, both of our spirits had considerably brightened.

"Why don't you walk Angela home, hm?" my father said as he clambered out of the boat; his face was green and his eyelids were droopy. I nodded curtly and led her towards the Caramel River District. The clouds above us darkened and covered the sun, as if Waffle Town didn't want us to be home. I exhaled deeply as a drop of rain plunked on my nose.

"It's going to be weird," she began. I gave her a confused look and she continued. "Not sharing a bed, I mean."

I laughed a little, not sure if it was a joke or if she was serious. Either way, she laughed a little as well and my heart seemed to bulge uncontrollably. A steady drizzle began to fall as we neared her house, causing us to walk a little faster. Timidly, I slinked my arm around her shoulder and held her very close. She looked up at me with a sly look on her face.

"What? It's cold." I said, trying to cover up my actions. She laughed.

"I knew it," she said quietly. Again, I looked at her in uncertainty. "I knew you were a gentleman! You put on this snooty exterior, but really you're just a big softie."

She giggled and poked me in the stomach to emphasize the word _softie_. I couldn't help but laugh. I had never thought of myself as a gentleman, as she put it. But I shrugged and accepted the compliment as we finally reached the house.

"Well, that was a nice weekend." I said stiffly, before snickering a little. "No, I'm kidding. It was pretty awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously, "I did have a good time! You're family is pretty cool."

I snorted, but didn't attempt to disagree or argue. Just as I was about to turn away, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. Before I could respond, she had slinked through the door and was gone, leaving me completely and utterly lovesick on her porch.

--

_Ding, ding, ding!_

_A bell tolled somewhere above our heads, and before I knew what was going on, a wedding march had begun. I blinked rapidly and looked at my surroundings. I was in the church, standing at the altar next to my father. He looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up, as if it could cheer me up._

_I looked into the audience. My whole family was there, along with my cousin Gideon who smirked evilly at me. Other than my family, no one was in the audience. The wedding march took a minor tune and now sounded more like a funeral procession. I wringed my hands nervously and felt relieved when I saw my bride-to-be heading down the aisle. Her dress was long and it flowed rapidly behind her, and she had a very elegant veil over her face._

_My spirits brightened as she stood next to me and took my hands in hers. My father began reciting the vows._

"_I do," I said shakily. She repeated; her voice was coated in tears. _

"_You may now kiss the bride!" my father exclaimed. I lifted her veil and leaned in to kiss her when someone in the audience cleared their throat noisily. It was Gideon._

"_This marriage is a fake! He only did it to become the mayor!" He exclaimed. Angela's face turned from surprise to anger in a matter of seconds. Before I could protest, my whole family pulled out pitchforks and torches. Even my father brandished a pocketknife. Hurriedly, we ran out of the church, only to be greeted by the rest of the town._

"_Kill them! Kill them!" they chanted as we continued to run. In a hastened attempt to escape, I tripped over a bump in the road and went toppling. Everyone immediately surrounded me, chanting and brandishing their weapons. I was done for._

--

I ripped my eyelids open, forcing myself to abandon that awful dream. My face dripped with sweat as I sat up and flung the sheets off of my legs. Outside, the sun was peeking out from behind a mountain. Knowing I wouldn't be able to go back to bed, I padded down the steps and headed for the kitchen.

How many more of these dreams would I have? Why was I having them in the first place? I sighed angrily and began brewing coffee. Goddess knows I would need it if I were going to continue having awful dreams.

I sipped my coffee in utter silence. My thoughts were swimming about in my head, causing it to cramp. I had so many questions, so many thoughts, so many concerns… and no answers whatsoever. The predominant question that still posed itself in my mind was: _am I developing feelings for her_?

Of course I wasn't! That was preposterous. We had about as much in common as a sea turtle and a flea. But still, if I had no feelings for her, why was it even a question at all? Why did it bother me so much?

Angrily, I dropped my mug in the sink and shoved my hands in my pockets. I needed to take a walk.

After getting dressed into a plaid sweater and white pants (ironed to perfection, of course), I left my house. Grass had already begun to peek through the Winter snow, signaling that Spring was sooner than we thought. Sauntering aimlessly, I finally ended up heading towards the Caramel River District. No, not to visit Angela, but to stroll by the waterfall.

It took me a good fifteen minutes to get there, seeing as I seemed to want to actually marvel at the beauty of the snow-covered trees and glassed-over lakes. Wow, having a crush was really turning me into a sap.

Did I just say I had a crush? I meant a fake wedding. Yes, this fake wedding was really turning me into a sap.

I finally approached the falls, feeling slightly reminiscent of the last time I was here. I must have looked crazy, wading through the frosty Fall water in nothing but my boxers. All for a blue feather. What a waste.

I gulped the frozen air and smiled to myself, feeling a little more rejuvenated than before. At least, until I saw her.

Angela was standing at the top of the falls, looking down below. She didn't seem to see me.

"Angela!" I exclaimed hysterically. She looked over at me and waved happily, "Are you trying to kill yourself?!"

"What? No!" she exclaimed. "Come up here!"

"Are you crazy?! Angela, get down!" I shouted, before saying to myself, "Oh Goddess, all of this stress must have made her insane."

"Gill, just come up here! If you don't, then I won't get down!"

She seemed to be having quite the laugh about this. Angrily, I sucked up my courage and made my way under the waterfall, and up a few steep rocks. This was before I realized that I was scared of heights.

"Why are you making me do this?!" I asked frantically as I attempted to reach the top. I seemed to be stuck.

"Here, let me help you," she said as she held out a hand. I grasped it and she pulled me up. "Isn't the view just beautiful?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's dandy. _Please _get me down." I begged her. I had never been so high up in my life, and I definitely didn't like it at all. How was she planning on getting down from here?

"Listen, Angela. If you're trying to kill yourself because of this wedding, please don't. I can cancel it! You can get some help from Dr. Jin. _Please_, I don't want you to die!" I rambled on and on as she guffawed loudly.

"Gill, I'm not trying to kill myself! Just look at the view, trust me, you'll know why I'm up here."

I rolled my eyes and decided to play her little game. I looked out onto the horizon and saw a sight that literally took my breath away. The ocean was glimmering in the distance, and the sun was halfway out from behind the mountain, causing the white flora to be illuminated as if glowing.

_Wow_, I really am a sap.

"Isn't it great?" she asked. I nodded in silent agreement. For a moment, we stood there silently before she grasped my hand.

"Are you ready to go down?" She asked. I nodded and pulled her towards the rocks. However, she kept her feet planted very still. "No, silly. Not that way."

"How else are we supposed to get down?" I asked, clearly flustered now. I just wanted to go on a walk, I didn't want to risk my life. She pointed to the water below us and beamed happily at me.

"We jump, of course!"

"Oh, I knew you were suicidal." I said in a worried tone. "Come on, I'll carry you."

"My Goddess, Gill, will you stop that? Hear me out! It's fun, I've done it before."

"You've done this before? Why on earth would you do that?" I asked, still very wary of the girl's mental state.

"I don't know, it's exciting! It relieves stress, and it's definitely an adrenaline rush!" she shouted jovially over the rushing water.

"Yeah, because tricking everyone into thinking we're getting married isn't enough of an adrenaline rush already." I muttered under my breath, not intending for her to hear me.

"It's a different kind of rush. Come on! Where's your sense of adventure?"

"I must have left it somewhere down there." I replied sarcastically, pointing to the rocks that I climbed up on. "Angela, let's just-"

Before I could even finish that sentence, she had forcefully pushed her feet off of the cliff, pulling me with her due to our hands being linked.

"Arghhhhhh!" I screamed girlishly, shutting my eyes as tightly as I could. I felt like I had been falling for a very long time, so long that I almost didn't expect the water to come crashing around me. I could hear Angela laughing in the distance as I sputtered and coughed for my breath. Opening my eyes, I saw her wading towards the edge of the lake before hoisting herself up. I followed her move and pushed myself out of the water, feeling extremely shaky.

"That was… wow." I muttered as I lied down on the grass.

"See? I told you!" she said as she wringed the water out of her hair. I smiled.

"I never knew you were so adventurous." I said in all honestly, looking her in the eye. She shrugged.

"There's a lot you don't know about me. Now, come on, let's head back to town."

With that, we stood (still wobbly) and headed towards her house.

"I'll be just a moment," she said quickly as she hurried up to the door, "I just want to change my clothes. Then we can head over to the Tailor Shop to buy my dress. You don't mind coming… do you?"

"Nah, I'm fine with it."

Again, _sap_. She smiled and opened the door, only to stop dead in her tracks. There was an older, brunette woman in her house who looked at Angela with an odd expression on her face. Angela was silent for a moment, before she opened her mouth and whispered,

"Mom?"

**A/N: Dun, dun, dunnnn. The wedding approaches! Here's a question for ya: Who shall be the best man at the wedding, and who shall be the bridesmaid? I'm taking all opinions and suggestions! Thanks so much for reading, and let me know how my story is progressing! If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to let me know.**


	9. Rapunzel, Rapunzel

**A/N: Ahh! I'm sorry for the very late update, but I hope this chapter is good! Enjoy!**

The woman staring back at us looked almost disgusted for a moment. Then her pinched face formed into an even-more-pinched smile as she stuck out her hand.

"Oh, hello, you must be Gill?" she inquired, looking from Angela, to me, and then back to Angela. I nodded and gulped, feeling instantly intimidated by her mother. How did she know who I was? Did Angela tell her about the wedding…?

_No, that's absurd_, I told myself. _Why would she tell her mother about a fake wedding?_

"What are you doing here, mom?" she demanded, sounding more than frantic.

"I'm here for your wedding, of course. It's next week, is it not? I still can't believe you didn't tell your own mother about this…" she replied, sounding disappointed. Angela looked confused.

"Who told you?" she asked, totally disregarding her mother's attempt at trying to get Angela to feel remorse.

"Gill's father! He called me yesterday, asking if I was planning to come down for the wedding. I, of course, thought he was crazy until he explained himself further," her mother replied bitterly, glaring at her daughter. Angela didn't respond, she instead took a sudden interest at the scuffmarks on her shoes "And why is it that my own daughter didn't tell me about her wedding?"

"I, um, well," she started, still looking at every possible spot besides her mother's piercing eyes. The old woman glared wickedly. "I didn't think you'd want to travel so far, to be honest."

"Nonsense!" her mother exclaimed, laughing humorlessly. "Why wouldn't I want to travel all the way down here in the middle of no where to see my daughter's wedding?"

There was something in her tone that sounded almost sarcastic, but I brushed it off. Instead, I was wondering exactly how she would murder me when she found out the truth, and if Angela would survive.

Psh, look at me. Considering others? When did that become acceptable?

"Well… let me see your dress!" her mother said after a few moment of silence, looking around at the dusty house. Angela blushed.

"I haven't gotten one yet," she admitted, still staring at her shoes. Without missing a beat, her mother was on her feet with her hand securely tightened to Angela's wrist.

"Let's go! Oh, it has always been my fantasy to pick out a wedding dress for my daughter!" she swooned as they burst out the door. What was I, chopped liver? Actually, I didn't quite care. Too much. I guess.

Deciding not to dwell on the fact that I actually sort of wanted to see her try on wedding dresses, I went home to sulk and pout. My father was bustling about, like always, trying to organize the foot-long guest list that he somehow conjured up. I decided to take a quick peek of the list before heading upstairs to sulk once again.

"Who is… Pierre Renard?"

"Oh, he was our butler before you were born! I don't think you've met him yet," my father replied absentmindedly.

"And Annie Potter?"

"An old friend of your mother's."

"Samuel Powderly?"

"Used to live here."

"_Why don't I know half of these people_?" I shouted, throwing the list to the ground. The rest of the parchment fluttered along with it.

"Well, Gill… you, well, you don't have too many, um, acquaintances here and there, you understand."

Instead of smiling and nodding and being the "good little boy" I was raised to be, I stomped up the stairs with extra _stomp_ and almost stuck my tongue out. But that would have just been immature.

I slopped down onto my lofty bed and sighed in frustration. What was I going to do about Gideon? And would people ever find out? Maybe I could organize some sort of catastrophe to happen right as we recite our vows…

I slammed my fists down onto the comforter in rage. Why did I just keep digging a grave for myself? Each lie was just a foot deeper. I wanted to scream.

A knock came to the door, and I tried to be silent so that no one could bother me.

"Yoo-hoo! It's your pal Julius!" said a sing-song voice. I, again, remained silent, keeping my eyes set on the doorknob. It turned slowly, and I almost hid under the bed when I realized that if I wanted to start making amends, I should face my problems.

"_What_?" I yelled as he entered the room, glittering like a sprite. I wanted to groan and throw a book at him.

"Who's being an Unhappy Pappy?_ You _are!" he exclaimed, chuckling heartily. "Anywho, I'm here to ask you a teensy-weensy favor."

I grunted in response. I felt like a cave animal.

"Do you… well, do you have a best man?" he asked, suddenly seeming a bit sincere. I shook my head and hugged a pillow to my chest. "Can I, um, well, can I…?"

I bobbed my head up and down, all while still clutching my pillow. He squealed louder than expected.

"Oh perfect! I'll just have to get my tuxedo now, I suppose, since the wedding is just so close, and what about accessories?" he asked excitedly as I stood from the bed and approached him. Slowly but surely, I escorted him towards the door. "Any sort of flower on the vest or maybe some nice, shiny shoes?"

The rest of his incessant babbling was muffled behind the door slamming shut. No more interaction for today.

The afternoon came, and I had overcome my angry phase and progressed to the sad phase. You know, that phase where you have the urge to write poetry and listen to dramatic classical music for some sort of inspiration. Thankfully, I didn't get that far, for Angela was my next visitor.

"I got my dress," she said through the slats of the door. I muttered, "come in" and spread out on the bed. She entered slowly with a long, plastic bag behind her. "I think it's ugly."

With that, she threw it onto my bed and sunk into a chair in the corner. She looked away from me apprehensively as I opened the bag and the dress slid out. It was pure white, strapless, and it had a very simple, lace design at the ribcage. I wanted to smile, but I didn't.

"I… well, I actually quite like it," I mumbled, trying to seem uninterested. She leapt from the chair and squealed (sounding a lot like Julius, strangely).

"You like it? Oh, perfect! I'm so happy!" she shouted as I sat up, bracing for some sort of attack. Instead, she grabbed the back of my head forcefully and planted a kiss on my cheek. I suppressed my smile with all of my energy.

"Where's your mom?" I asked after a moment.

"Outside waiting for me," she said fast, still looking giddy. "I better go back, I will see you tomorrow!"

"What's tomorrow?" I asked.

"We're picking out the decorations, of course!" she shouted when she was halfway out of the door. Deciding it was futile to try and pry more information out of her, I let her leave. Slumping back into bed, I pulled the covers over my face and sighed, hoping that my conscience would stop kicking me in the head.

I woke up in a pool of my own sweat (I seemed to be doing that a lot lately) and I headed for the shower, unsure of the day that was ahead of me. My father was downstairs, in the exact same spot he was before with the list still in his pudgy hands. He looked frantic.

"Oh good, you're up," he exhaled, sounding relieved. I grabbed a coat and grunted in response, still not feeling too 'ecstatic' about this wedding. We headed out the door in silence and walked the short walk to the Tailor Shop, our first stop for the day.

Candace quietly greeted us as we entered and showed us to the back room without more than two words. Angela and her mother were there, both waiting with their arms crossed and their right feet splayed out to the side. I laughed to myself.

"Oh, hello you two!" my father said excitedly. Angela's mother smiled. No, she didn't smile; she actually looked more like a wolf, bearing her teeth at my father like she was going to eat him up. I didn't doubt that.

"Hi," Angela muttered, looking frustrated. I smirked at her and she stuck her tongue out playfully.

"Oh, look at this selection!" my father yelped as he scurried to a table with different lacy, cloth samples. The three of us rolled our eyes.

"We also, um, need to know the location of the wedding so we can, uh, set up," Candace said from the corner. My father whirled around and smiled excitedly, almost manically. Candace backed farther into the corner.

"How does Caramel Falls sound, Gill? Angela?" he asked.

"No, no, they'll get _wet_," Angela's mother said sharply. Angela gave a phony smile.

"Caramel Falls sounds great!" she exclaimed. I nodded my head in agreement just to see her mother fume a little bit. Candace nodded and scribbled something onto a chart.

Angela's mother sighed and rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers, while her daughter crossed her arms triumphantly.

After looking over many lacy, floral, and silk patterns for the overall decoration, we eventually agreed on a rather plain, light blue design. The next stop was the Sundae Inn.

"Good afternoon," said Chase, looking at us with half-lidded eyes and a mischievous grin. A chill ran up my spine.

"Hello-o-o-o-o-o!" my father greeted in a sing-song tone. Angela's mother continued to rub her temples.

"You here to look at the cakes?" he asked nonchalantly, eyeing Angela and I. We nodded and followed him into the back room, where an array of tall cakes awaited us. All five of us simultaneously licked our lips.

"This one looks nice," Angela commented, pointing to a tall, white cake with a swirl of pink frosting all around it. On top were two tiny bride and groom figurines.

"Ugh, no. Pink? Really?" I retorted. She rolled her eyes. "How about this one?"

I pointed to a small, circular, white cake with no decoration whatsoever.

"Yawn," she commented, crossing her arms.

"It's a perfectly acceptable cake. We don't need anything extravagant," I informed her, mimicking her body language. She laughed.

"You're right," she muttered. "The wedding itself will distract everyone from the cake."

I laughed as we continued to drag our feet around the kitchen, and all the while I kept my eyes planted on Chase in the corner. He feasted his eyes on Angela as she strolled, aloof to his creepiness. I almost growled.

"How about this one?" she asked.

"Huh? Sure," I replied, not even looking at the cake. A tiny smile crept onto his face and, as if marking my territory, I grasped her hand forcefully. She yelped a little.

"What was that for?" she whispered sharply. I shook my head and dragged her along with me to another table with cakes. Even with my obvious glares and sudden interest in my "wife", Chase continued to stare blatantly.

"What? What is it?" I asked him suddenly.

"Hm? Oh, nothing," he replied snidely as Angela elbowed my ribcage, muttering a slew of incoherent whispers.

"Nothing, huh? Sure, if nothing means eyeing my fiancée," I retorted. My father and her mother both stopped what they were doing and whirled around, watching us intently. My father went to open his mouth but stopped as I shot him a glare even more frightening than the one I gave Chase.

"I was doing no such thing," he replied, crossing his arms. I snorted.

"Yes you were! I watched you for a good five minutes," I shot back as Angela tugged my hand vigorously.

"Let's just get this one and get out of here," Angela said, clearly a little embarrassed.

"Yes, that sounds like a swell plan," my father mumbled from the corner. Without a word, I stomped out of the room like a five-year-old who didn't get the candy they wanted. I didn't care, though. I was pretty sure I was going insane anyway.

"Gill, I-" my father began as soon as we left the Inn.

"I already know what you're going to say, so save it for another time," I interrupted as I power-walked towards the house. I knew I was acting like a total ass, but I was allowed to, right? I was getting married in a week; I had the right to throw tantrums. Or maybe that's the bride…

Regardless, I shut myself in my room as soon as possible. I knew I shouldn't have left my bed today. Crawling under the covers, I let my head sink into the pillow like it was a cloud. Nothing could disturb the sleep that was about to capture me.

Except maybe an equally crazy bride-to-be.

_Tap_.

"Gill!" Angela whispered from outside. _Tap_. My eyes lurched open as I sat up, startled by the darkness. Was I really asleep for that long? Hastily, I stood and headed towards the window, poking my head out. Wrong timing. A sharp pain erupted on my forehead as a pointy rock came flying at me.

"What the f-"

"Sorry!" she exclaimed, laughing a little. I rubbed my forehead.

"What're you doing out here? What time is it?" I asked, still partially delirious.

"It's twelve, I couldn't sleep, my mother insists on taking my bed! And she snores!" she whispered adamantly.

"And…? What do you want me to do about that?" I inquired irritably, still angry about the rock. She grinned slyly.

"Can I come up there?" she asked, sounding sheepish.

"After assaulting me with a stone? I don't think so," I cajoled. Truth was, I actually kind of missed her presence next to me in that small bed at my uncle's.

"Ha, very funny," she replied, not amused.

"Well, how are you going to get up here?" I asked. "I don't want to wake up my father."

"Um," she uttered, looking deep in thought for a moment. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long hair?"

"Nice try."

"Do you have rope, or something?" she asked impatiently.

"Yeah, let me just go check my rock climbing supplies," I retorted.

"Not funny! Do you have sheets?" she asked. I frowned, not wanting to dirty my crisp, dryer-fresh sheets. But then I looked down at her pouting face and changed my mind.

"Fine," I said as I left her to grab my sheets. Regretfully, I threw one end out the window at Angela, who caught it. Tentatively, she scooted closer to the house before looking up at me.

"Ready?" she asked. I gave her a thumbs-up and she planted both of her feet against my house. As soon as she did this, the sheets almost slipped from my grip; I was not much of a heavy lifter. She squealed a little, but continued to scale up the side of my house.

"You're heavy," I complained as the sheets slipped a little. She didn't reply, but I knew she would have sworn at me if she weren't so concentrated. Struggling a little, I planted my feet against my bedroom wall for support. Finally, she appeared in my window, ragged and exhausted. With one last burst of energy, she launched herself through the window and tackled me to the floor.

And then she smacked me.

"Ow!" I exclaimed, holding my raw cheek.

"That's for calling me heavy," she growled, still on top of me. I opened my mouth to protest, but she interrupted me. With a kiss. It wasn't forceful or angry, it was actually rather soft considering the situation. She pulled away after only a few seconds, leaving me frazzled.

"And that was for being jealous today," she cajoled, smiling evilly.

"I was not! I was just-"

Yet again, she interrupted me with a kiss. And this time, I didn't protest or complain. For once, I stayed silent as I thought of how unpredictable, insane, and absolutely stubborn this girl was.

And how much I liked that about her.

**A/N: Wooo, getting closer and closer to the wedding! What to expect: more craziness, bachelor party, the "talk" with Hamilton, a visit from Gideon, and more! Review and let me know what you think!**


	10. The Talk

**A/N: Thanks so much for all your positive input! I hope this chapter is okay, I didn't plan on updating this so soon, but I really felt like it! Hope you enjoy!**

For once in my life, I woke up with a smile on my face.

That is, until I saw my father in the doorway. Then the smile went away. It was nice while it lasted, though.

"Gilbert?" my father asked, looking almost frightened. "Can I speak to you for a second?"

Groggily, I stood and yawned before walking towards my father, standing in his disapproving stance. I shuddered. Thankfully, Angela seemed to still be sleeping, but he closed the door behind us anyway.

"Care to explain yourself?" he asked, still sounding anxious. I looked around stupidly, trying to comprehend what he was insinuating.

"Hm?" I asked, still half-asleep and attempting to understand what was going on. It was just then when I realized that I had a girl in my room. No, in my _bed_. I felt like a frightened teenager about to get busted for bad grades.

"Now, Gilbert," he began, taking my shoulders in his hands. I shuddered. "I don't think we've ever had this… this sort of problem."

He frowned a bit, as if struggling to find the appropriate words. But I already knew what was coming.

"Well, I know she's going to be your wife in a few days, but… well, frankly I don't approve of _that_," he commented, widening his eyes at the closed bedroom door as if he had walked in on some sort of unspeakable act. I immediately felt a blush spread onto my cheeks.

"Dad, it was nothing, we weren't even-"

"Yes, son, I understand, but just the thought of it – um, ah, I mean… I don't know what I'm trying to say," he mumbled, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "I think we need to have a talk."

"A _what_?"

Before he could respond, Angela emerged from the bedroom looking groggy. Her hair stuck out in every which way and her eyes hung half-open. That is, until she saw my father. Practically shrieking, she attempted to backtrack but my father stopped her.

"Ah, Angela, perfect timing."

I widened my eyes at her, attempting to warn her of imminent danger, and that she should run for cover as quickly as possible. Instead, she looked at me as if I was nuts before looking back at my father.

"Yes?" she asked, trying to seem nonchalant in my pajama pants and old t-shirt.

"I, well… gosh, I'm just going to say it. I wholeheartedly believe in an abstinent lifestyle, and –"

"Oh _god_," I yelled, covering my face in sheer humiliation. Angela just stood there, bewildered. Poor girl. What a rude awakening. "We weren't doing any of that, _ugh_!"

"Well, I just figured that –"

"You figured _wrong_!" I screeched, exasperated.

"Calm down, Gill, I just thought that since I never really gave you the _talk_…"

I couldn't hear any more of those. Completely embarrassed, I retreated to my room before he could say anything, pulling Angela in there with me. As soon as the door was shut and locked, Angela shook her head, pursing her lips together. I thought for a moment that she was going to cry.

But instead, she let out a gut-busting guffaw.

"Ha! Oh _god_ that was hilarious! The look on your face…" she sputtered, wiping her eyes. I crossed my arms.

"That was _not_ funny. That was mortifying," I stated bluntly, staring her down. Her eyes watered uncontrollably.

"I wholeheartedly believe in an abstinent lifestyle," she mocked, in a voice identical to my father's. I wanted to scream.

"Shut up!" I said, clamping my hand against her mouth as she continued to babble incessantly. For a second, everything was silent. And then she bit my hand.

"Bitch!" I exclaimed, wrestling her to the floor. She laughed uncontrollably as I pinned her down and tickled her ribcage.

"Gill? Angela?" my father called from outside the door. Immediately we stopped, one of my hands grabbing her wrist and the other at her side. "What did I just say?"

We stared at each other for a moment, and then back at the door.

"Screw him," I whispered, and tackled her ribs once more.

Wedding Countdown: T-minus two days. And I was really beginning to sweat it.

I walked into work that day, feeling a sense of unfamiliarity encompass me. It had been weeks since I had shown up, and Elli was quick to show her disappointment. Not in a normal way, of course. She was the kind of girl who acted nice but glared at you when you weren't looking.

"So, are you… excited?" she asked, seemingly interested. She fiddled with a pen in her hand as she stared at me rather intensely. I chuckled warily.

"Um, yes?" I replied, not sure of her intentions. She made a 'hm' noise as she clicked the pen repeatedly with her thumb.

"Really? You seem rather uncomfortable to me," she observed as she continued clicking. It was driving me insane.

"Jitters," I replied bluntly. The clicking persisted. I wanted to reach forward and snatch it out of her hands like a frog tongue snatches a fly. But instead, I grinned at her and went back to my work.

"There's something wrong with you," she said. I looked at her with an "are-you-mad?" sort of look before shaking my head and looking down at my papers.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tapped my fingers impatiently on the desk in sync with her clicking.

"I'm sure you do," she said in that polite, girly voice. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I _don't_," I seethed, gripping my paperwork in my hands. She watched as it crinkled, and she raised an eyebrow at me as if that proved a point. I sighed angrily.

"If you say so," she replied in a singsong tone.

The pen stopped clicking, but a tense silence immediately filled its place. Abruptly, I stood and grasped my papers in my hands.

"I need to go deliver something to the, um, church," I stammered as I headed for the door, feeling her eyes on my back the whole time. Talk about sketchy. But how would she know what's going on?

I attempted to rid my head of these thoughts. There were other things to worry about, like my father's awkward conversation topics, my strange feelings towards Angela, and Gideon waiting outside my house.

Wait, _what_?

He stood with his chest puffed out, looking around the city like it was a sewer. I approached him warily, and as soon as he saw me coming, a wicked smirk stretched onto his face. I almost wanted to turn around and run back to the Town Hall, but like a lion chasing its prey, he had already started walking towards me.

"Cousin Gilbert!" he called, his sly expression still taunting me as his eyebrows wiggled. "Long time no see, eh?"

I sighed angrily, faking a smile and failing horribly.

"So… _charming_," I said through my teeth, "for you to be here… so early. May I ask why?"

The saccharine coat around my words caused him to grimace a little. But he quickly regained composure and stood tall, looking down at me through the tip of his nose.

"Father suggested we come today, so he could get… situated," he replied, suddenly seeming uncomfortable speaking of his father. I didn't say anything, instead I brushed passed him and pushed the door open, ready to throw another ridiculous tantrum, but my whole family stood there waiting for me.

Shouts and greetings welcomed me as I stepped inside, and I tried my hardest to grin genuinely. Angela was there, too, sporting the same strange smile I had. Her mother stood next to her, her bony arms clamped tightly at her sides, looking at my family as if they were a pack of zoo animals.

"Home early from work, hm?" my father inquired, looking positively red in the face. Seems like he's starting to stress more about this wedding than I am.

"Yeah, there wasn't much to do," I lied, feeling my face grow hot. My family didn't notice, though, they immediately picked up on the conversation they apparently had been having before I showed up. I didn't pay attention; I only heard a few key words of the discussion (ex. Wedding, decorations, and cake), and decided that I should tune out. Angela was doing the same.

"So, Gilbert," came a sly voice from behind me. Gideon was still standing there, his mouth now curved into a snake-like grin. I gulped. "When am I going to get my end of the bargain?"

"I don't know," I whispered back, careful to make sure none of the adults were listening in. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Although I wasn't looking at him, I could that when he sighed he was rolling his eyes as well. Jerk.

"Fine, I guess we'll talk more about it at the bachelor party tomorrow night…" he quipped, his voice trailing off ominously.

"_Bachelor party_?" I whispered sharply, whirling fully around.

"Oh, yes! Did your father not tell you?" he asked, looking like a child with a new lollipop. "Just about every guy in this town is going to be there!"

And I was going to take that lollipop and shove it up his –

"Is that okay with you?" he asked, when it was obvious he didn't give a damn whether or not it was. I glared at him, feeling my cheeks grow red.

"Of course, dear cousin," I replied, with the cheesiest smile I could muster. "Sounds like a blast!"

It took all my energy not to tackle him when he winked at me, and headed over to his father, leaving me fuming. Angela shot me a look of pity, but I ignored her. I didn't want to deal with anyone today, so I turned bolted up the stairs, careful to be quiet about my exit. No one except my bride-to-be seemed to notice, but she didn't follow like she normally would have.

_She's finally starting to understand my ways_, I thought to myself. _She knows when she shouldn't bother me._

Just hours later, I was knocked out cold, with dreams of awkward bachelor parties dancing in my head. I was awoken just hours later to my father, calling me down for dinner. I sighed as I padded down the steps, coiffing my hair as I did so.

The dinner was uncomfortable. When were family dinners not? Gatherings with my "circus-people" relatives were always somewhat strange, and combined with the tension between me and… well, practically everyone there, I couldn't have expected anything else.

Still, I would have rather endured that family dinner than what was to come next. I went to bed that night with millions of fears darting through my head. Not only was I not a conversationalist, and not only was I clueless to these "bachelor party" plans, but I wasn't a friend to anyone in this town. Especially the guys. Except maybe Julius, I guess…

Needless to say, my sleep was erratic and filled with nightmares. And it didn't help that I woke up to a house full of Hamilton's.

I didn't do anything all day. Really. I ate breakfast and moped in my room for hours, walking from one side to the other, staring at my closet every once in a while. Maybe if I locked myself inside, they would all just forget about me…

My ghostly wanderings were interrupted a few times, once by my father asking if I was sick. I should have said yes. Another by Gideon, who snickered and asked me if I was getting ready yet. The third time was from my aunt, who didn't say anything, but instead flung my tuxedo into the door and scurried away.

Finally, a fourth knock came to my door, and something in my heart told me that this was the one. Sure enough, Gideon came in; his smile wicked (as always).

"You ready?" he asked, although I'm pretty sure it didn't matter whether I was or not. He yanked me out the door, his hand wrapped around my upper arm tightly. "You're wearing that?"

I looked down at my usual décor: finely ironed pants and argyle sweater, with a pair of dress shoes to match.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked, sounding defensive and childish. I didn't care; it was my wedding, I could cry if I wanted to… right?

"Hah, nothing. Never mind," he replied, snickering a bit.

Moments later, we were walking up to the Sundae Inn. Bright lights and silhouettes of people shone through the window, and I immediately felt my hands grow sweaty. What would I say to them?

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to rip my arm away from Gideon's grip and run frantically in a different direction, for we had already entered the Inn.

Gideon wasn't lying. Every bachelor in town was there, chatting and mingling like normal people. Why hadn't I ever looked so nonchalant? Chase and Luke were at the table closest to the door, playing some sort of game with a quarter and their knuckles. Owen and Calvin were cheering them on, 'aww'ing at the appropriate moments and high-fiving as well. In another corner, Jin, Toby and Grey were calmly chatting as they sipped their beverages, and Julius was in the center of it all, blowing up some last-minute balloons. They all cheered when I came in, and instantly I grew red. I barely knew half of these people, but suddenly I yearned for friends.

They all raised their drinks to me, and somehow, I felt accepted.

"The groom is here!" Luke shouted, putting the quarter down on the table with a _clank_. "Drinks all around!"

Immediately, I paled as all of the other guys cheered even louder and lined up at the bar. I had never been much of a drinker, besides maybe a glass of wine on Thanksgiving (and even then, I had headaches in the morning). But the challenging look that Gideon gave me told me to suck it up and line up with the other guys.

So I did. I took a sip of God-knows-what and sat down at the table with Luke and Chase, who had already put away the quarter and were now talking.

"So then she was all, 'Why don't you ever remember our anniversary?' and I was all, 'Stop smothering me!' . . . bitches, man," Chase said, taking a gulp of his drink. Luke laughed hysterically.

"Man, you've got it bad!" he exclaimed, slamming his hand on the table. _Got what bad_? I thought to myself. _What're they talking about?!_

"Heh, yeah," I said. "Angela does that all the time."

They both look over at me simultaneously, their faces deadpan. And then they grinned and slap me on the shoulder.

"Can't believe you're already puttin' on the ball and chain! When did you two start goin' at it, anyway?" Luke asked, a line of froth above his lip. I tried not to grimace.

"Uh, well," I said quietly, trying to think of some sort of believable story. "It's all kind of a blur to me, you know."

To my surprise, they both started cracking up and shaking their heads all-knowingly.

"That's how it was with Maya and I," Chase explained, finishing off his drink. "She expects me to remember all these dates and shit. Who thinks of those?"

_I gave her the blue feather on the 12__th__ of Summer_, I thought involuntarily as the boys laughed once again. Before they could say anything else, though, Gideon's voice rose above the murmur of the crowd.

"The entertainment is here!" he exclaimed, his hands cupped around his mouth. I felt my stomach drop drastically as the door opened and Selena emerged, in her usual harlot-like outfit. All of the other guys were cheering, but I felt a wave of disgust sweep over me. Frantically, I waved Gideon over.

"You hired a… a _stripper_?" I asked, my voice shaking with incredulity. Gideon shook his head.

"No, no, not a stripper," he said, his fingers pinching his chin. "An… exotic dancer, if you will."

"_Exotic dancer_?" I asked, rather loudly. The other guys looked in my direction, and I froze. "I mean… yeah-h-h! Wooo, exotic dancer!"

It was silent for a moment, and then they all cheered along with me as Selena stepped onto one of the bar tables. I gulped down the rest of my drink and grabbed another.

Most of the guys gathered around the table and yelled wildly as she danced (clothed, thankfully), while some of the others stayed back, silent but interested. And all I could think about was Angela, sitting alone in bed, probably nervous about tomorrow. I felt terrible.

"Gill, over here! It's your last night of the single life!" Luke called, pulling my arm towards the table. The music got a little louder and my heart thumped a little faster as she looked down at me. And all I could see were Angela's doe eyes staring.

Thankfully, she charged by the song, and Gideon only paid for about three. I couldn't tell you how happy I was to see her waltz out the door, a trail of guys escorting her there. Saps.

I was on my fourth drink by the time she was out the door, and I could feel them start to kick in when I sat down with Luke and Chase once again.

"So, Gill. . . tell me more about Angela," Chase said, snickering a bit. Luke nudged him in the ribs, and I cocked my head to the side.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my words slurring a tiny bit.

"You know… how _is_ she?" he asked, winking a little. I gulped, suddenly understanding the question. For a moment, I had a flash of my father's face yesterday morning, looking at us with that terrified expression. I scratched the back of my head sheepishly.

"Well, heh," I began, not sure how to even attempt this question. "You guys know how it is."

They both looked at each other, and then back at me.

"Have you guys even… you know?" Luke asked, his childish eyes glinting in the bar light. I opened my mouth to lie and say we have, of course, 'you know'ed. But then I thought about Angela once again, lying in bed with her snoring mother, feeling miserable. So instead of answering, I unsteadily stood from the table and left.

I was halfway to her house before I realized that I had no clue what I was doing. But I kept going onward, hoping that something would come to mind by the time I was on her front door step.

I was wrong. When I knocked on the door, now fully aware that it was about one o'clock in the morning, I felt at a loss for any comprehensible words. She opened it, looking groggy and beautiful. I mean… tired, yes. Tired.

"Whahmf?" she mumbled, stumbling a bit.

"I… uh, well, hi."

Very suave, I must say. She glared at me for a moment.

"What're you doing here?" she said finally, gaining consciousness. Careful not to wake her sleeping mother, I grabbed her arm and pulled her outside and shut the door behind her.

"I ditched the bachelor party," I told her, feeling almost like a rebel. She didn't respond, instead she still glared at me, bewildered.

"And?" she asked, crossing her arms over her pajama top.

I don't know if it was the drinks, or the fact that we were getting married tomorrow, but I felt the sudden need to be honest. I didn't want to be one of those guys, like Chase or Luke. So I did something bold.

"I like you," I told her, before recoiling a bit. I sounded like a fifth grader, but at least it was out there. I then added, "A lot."

"Your breath smells like alcohol," she informed me, looking concerned.

"So I had a few," I told her, growing a bit impatient. Didn't she hear me? Instead of saying it back, she looked away; obviously thoughts were racing through her head.

"We're getting married tomorrow," she said simply. I nodded.

"I know," I told her, still completely oblivious to what she was getting at and why she wasn't responding the way I had hoped.

"I… I just… we should talk later," she stuttered, backing away towards her front door with her hands up as if held by gunpoint. I opened my mouth but my jaw just hanged slack.

_Didn't she hear me_?

It wasn't until her hand was touching the door that I realized what this meant. My chest felt heavy.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she called. And then she was gone.

**A/N: Are you ready for what you've all been waiting for? The wedding! Yes, it's the next chapter, and it is not what you will be expecting! Review and let me know what you think!**


	11. The Wedding

**A/N: Aoiauskdakncjkashjd. I am so sorry for not updating sooner, trust me, I am! I have been so unbelievably busy, especially during the holidays! I've basically just been working my butt off every day and when I tried to write, it just came out so boring. So it took a little while, but hey, it's here now! I'm so glad you've all stuck with me, I promise that it hasn't gone unnoticed! Thank you, everyone!**

"It's not that bad… is it?" I asked, my originally dormant nerves now kicking into high gear. I hadn't slept a wink last night, not after the conversation I had with Angela. Julius was looking at me with a 'shit-you're-screwed' sort of look, his head was tilted pensively to the side.

"No… no," he replied, entirely unconvincing. I looked in the mirror and grimaced, I looked like a zombie coming back to life for revenge. My eyes were bloodshot and the bags under them were so deep that it looked like I picked a fight with a guy twice my size. Julius sighed and shook his head. "What is wrong with you? Don't you know that the night before your wedding is the most important night for beauty sleep? I went to bed at seven o'clock the night before Candace and I got married."

I didn't respond. It's obvious he didn't understand, how could he? How could anyone understand something as ridiculous as this?

"What's going on?" he asked, the usual twinkle in his eye gone missing. "Did something happen?"

"No… I mean, well, yes," I replied, my voice cracking. "I kind of… like… her."

As if it was such a bad thing to actually like the girl you're marrying.

"Oh!" Julius exclaimed, before clapping his hands together excitedly. "That's perfect! You could –"

"No, it's not perfect," I interrupted him. "She wasn't exactly thrilled when I told her."

And like that, Julius' face went from over-the-top excited to completely distraught in a matter of seconds. Damn, this guy was dramatic. He opened his mouth but I shook my head, feeling like a complete loser. At least now all I had to do was get through today and it would all be over. Maybe being a hermit for the rest of my life was a good thing…

"Well, hey, I have some cream that'll fix those bags under your eyes. I'll go grab it," he told me, before giving me one last sympathetic look. And then he was gone.

Just as I was ready to wallow alone in my sorrow, the door peeked open again. My aunt's bug eyes stared at me through the crack.

"Ah, Gilbert," she whispered, opening the door an inch wider. "I have your tuxedo. Here, here, take it."

She shoved the bundle of cloth into my hand and was gone a second later, scurrying down the stairs two at a time. I unfolded the thick, itchy material and sighed. The bits of thread that were once sticking out had been removed, thankfully, but the buttons were still unevenly placed.

But at least it looked like a tux.

Sort of. Good job, Aunt Himoltana.

Pulling off my sweater vest and plaid shorts, I took one last look at my ensemble and sighed. Could be worse. As I took a step into the gray pants, the door burst open. There stood Gideon, who first looked wicked (like always), before he saw my lack of clothing. And then he stuck his tongue out and made an awful retching noise, as if witnessing a gruesome murder.

"Oh, my G-" I bellowed as I tried to step away. But silly me, forgetting about the tuxedo pants around my ankles. The next think I know, I'm careening backwards, my arms flailing for something, _anything _to hold on to. "Shit!"

A horrifying cackling noise erupted from my _dear _cousin as I lay on the ground, a heaping mess of tuxedo and shame.

"Classy, Gilbert. _Classy_," he chided, shaking his head. I just sat there, eyes wide, pants still at my ankles. _Thank the Lord there are no cameras involved_. "Anyway, your father wants you downstairs in ten minutes… says he wants to give you something."

"Great," I muttered, standing with difficulty. Gideon laughed once again and left promptly, mumbling something inaudible. Although I'm pretty sure I heard the word 'pathetic'. I snorted. Gathering the remaining shreds of confidence inside of me, I stood and threw the tuxedo on the ground to deal with later. I pulled on a t-shirt and shorts and bounded down the steps two at a time.

I was greeted by my father, looking solemn but calm with his hands behind his back. I gulped, hoping this wasn't another sex talk. At this point, I wouldn't have been surprised if he gave me a box of condoms and pat on the back.

"I've got something for you, champ."

_Champ_? Was this my wedding day, or my first day of preschool? But I didn't say anything; I tried my hardest to grin instead as I approached him, dying to know what he had behind his back. As he dived into a fatherly speech about me growing up and becoming a man, I thought of all the possibilities. Was it a God-awful tie to go with my tux? Let's hope not. Ooh, what if it was honeymoon tickets? To the Toucan Islands… that would be perfect.

"So, I'd like to give you this."

From behind his back, he pulled a golden neckpiece, some sort of pendant. "My father gave this to me, when he retired," he told me, letting me hold it in my hand. The pendant had the imprint of the town on it; a thriving tree with many branches. I grazed my thumb over it. "I just… thought you should have it. You don't have to wear it."

I looked up and him, and then back at the pendant. And I slid it over my head, feeling the cool chain pressing against the skin of my neck. I slipped the emblem into my undershirt, and my father smiled. I could have sworn there was a watery twinkle in his eye.

"You'll be a great mayor, son. I have no doubt of it."

Part of me just wanted to blurt it out. Right then and there, blurt out my whole secret. But I knew better. It just hurt to know he thought that I was something special. When really, here I was, conning my own father into thinking I love Angela.

Maybe I do love her.

But it was for all the wrong reasons. Fitfully, I excused myself and walked outside. The wedding was creeping its way up, and Julius still hadn't grabbed that cream. And my face looked like I had been curb-stomped.

I had to find him.

Without thinking, I headed over to Caramel Falls, first. I wasn't sure if he would be there or not, but I kind of wanted to check out the wedding setup before three o'clock anyway. As I got closer to the sound of rushing water, I couldn't help but remember everything I had to go through to get where I was. Like wading in the river for the blue feather, jumping off the top of the waterfall… I did a lot of random shit to make this wedding work.

I could see a cyan canopy in the grass, the waterfall right behind it. Rows and rows of chairs scattered the area, and only a few people milled about the area. My cousin Gina was stringing up a strand of flowers, connecting from the canopy to a nearby tree. She was whistling a cheery tune as she worked. How was it possible for that much happiness to reside in one human being?

Near the waterfall was Angela's mother, arguing with Luke, who looked woozy. I heard her shouting something about the canopy being crooked while look held his head in his hands. He must have had a rough night.

But there was no Julius in sight. I turned and headed for the Tailor's, desperate to get away quickly and quietly so Gina wouldn't spot me. I could just hear the sound of her ecstatic giggles in my ear; it made me cringe. _Oh, Gilly! You're getting ma-a-a-a-aried! Aren't you just so excited? Don't you just want to jump up and down?_

Blech.

Back in Waffle Town, I pushed the door open to the Tailor Shop, hoping to find Julius. And sure enough, there he was, talking with Candace near the sewing machine. And just a few feet away from them was Angela. Her hair and makeup was already perfected, and her dress was draped casually over her arm. She did not look happy.

"I just want to know why the dress was sold to me with a rip in the first place," she said. It sounded as if she was desperately trying to keep her voice calm. But like her mother, her anger made itself known in different ways. Her arms were crossed so tightly she was probably having respiratory problems, the frown on her face was deeper than a canyon, and she had that one foot propped out in front of her, tapping as every second passed. Candace looked terrified.

"I'm so, so sorry miss," she squeaked as Julius shot me a 'run-for-your-life' look. "We fixed the hole, though. D-does it look all right?"

Angela unfolded the dress to show the messy, sewn-together seam on the side. She raised her eyebrows contemptuously.

"Does it look all right to you?" she asked, voice dripping with scornful venom. Candance shook her head slightly. "Fix it, please."

As if snapping out of a bitchy trance, Angela shook her head fitfully. And then she saw me, and she blanched. "I'll be right back."

And with that, she headed for the door, which I was conveniently standing right in front of. She snaked her body around me, completely going out of her way to not come in to contact with me, before pushing open the door. Julius shook his head.

"I just… I-I don't know wh-what I did wrong… Oh dear, this is not good, not good at all…"

Candace was muttering to herself, her head in her shaking hands. Julius patted her back consolingly as he whispered something in her ear. She nodded her head. "You're right."

And then she scuttled into the backroom, the dress in tow behind her.

"Well that was… something," I muttered, fully stepping into the room. Julius sighed.

"Candace probably won't let this go," Julius spoke absentmindedly. "Such a worry wart. Anyway, here's the cream I promised. I didn't mean to take so long, I just couldn't leave her alone with Bridezilla."

I laughed humorlessly, feeling a sudden sense of uncharted loneliness. I was getting married to a girl who couldn't even stand to look at me anymore. What did I say that was so awful? I wanted to know, but at the same time, I didn't. I knew what the answer would be.

I took the cream from Julius and left with only a few words. T-minus twenty minutes until the wedding. Why did I suddenly feel like upchucking all over the cobblestone pavement?

When I got home, I had to push through my family (A.K.A. the "horde") to get upstairs. Questions and comments were shouted as I trotted up each step, most of them coming from my oh-so-pleasant cousin and his father, who asked me for the third time if his chair would rust from the moisture.

_How the hell should I know_?

I slammed the door shut, hoping to drown out the circus noise. But to no avail. Like a stampede, I heard their thumping footsteps approach my room. I locked the door.

"Gilbert, you know the wedding starts in twenty minutes, right? Are you getting ready?" yelled my father.

"How does the t-tux fit? Is it okay? Do you need me to hem it some more?"

"Gilly Willikers! Get dressed quickly so we can see yo-o-o-ou!"

I slumped against the door. This was it. I had to do this. I was going to be the _mayor_, for God's sakes. _Just get up, Gill_, I told myself. _There are worse things in life_.

Hardly.

But I did get up. And although the shouts and grunts of my family taunted me from behind the door, I took my time. I applied the cool cream to my face, shivering as I rubbed it in. And then I grabbed the tux, gave it one last look-over (trying not to grimace) and I slipped it on. A hard knock came to the door just as I buttoned the last button on my dress shirt.

"We will be waiting downstairs when you're ready. Don't take too long!" shouted my father, before I heard him waddle down the stairs. I took the pendant he gave me just a few hours ago and I squeezed it in my palm. And then I slipped my jacket on and opened the door.

I was, finally, ready.

Sort of.

My family became silent as I appeared at the top of the stairs, patting down a flyaway hair on my head. And they smiled, even my grandfather. Not Gideon, though. He was picking lint off of his tuxedo jacket.

"Ready?" my uncle asked, his chair squeaking as he rolled towards the door. I gave them a half-nod and bounded down the stairs, my heart rattling with each step. And like that, we filed out of the door: a well-dressed circus brigade.

The walk to the waterfall was excruciating. I felt like an inmate on death row. And the guillotine blade was being sharpened by none other than my reluctant wife-to-be.

And finally, when the falls came in to view, I felt that frog in my throat. The one I had felt the day I "proposed", the one I had felt the first time we kissed. And the one I felt last night, despite my awkward drunken state. It was too late now. No turning back.

When my father said the whole town would be there, he was not kidding. As the scene unfolded in front of my eyes, I practically gasped. Everyone turned their heads and looked at me, some smiling and some not. A chill rolled up my back as I looked away.

"This is it!" I heard Julius squeal, appearing out of nowhere. I almost felt relieved to see him. "How are you feeling?"

Awful. And sick, and angry, and scared shitless.

"Fine," I told him, shoving my hands in my pockets. He patted my shoulder.

"Good. The cream seems to be working!" he exclaimed happily.

Woo. At least my face will look good as I sell my soul to the devil.

"Why is that woman in a tuxedo?" my father whispered in my ear as Julius said hello to my family. I opened my mouth to refute, but my father too busy trying to creep around him, as if Julius was some sort of abomination.

"Shall we start, then?" his voice boomed to the entire crowd.

The frog in my throat croaked.

Everyone simultaneously situation themselves in their chairs and stared ahead politely. I literally shook as I took my spot at the front of the tent. The rushing sound of water in my ears reminded me of the time we jumped off the top.

Slowly, the murmur of the crowd died until it was completely silent among us. And then the sound of violins split through the air. The wedding march.

And there in the distance, I saw her. Her now seamless dress flowed in the wind, and the sunlight hit her face on the perfect angle, causing her eyes to glimmer curiously. I squirmed in my spot, in complete disbelief of my position. Here I was, watching as my bride approached me, and I should have felt on top of the world. But instead, I was at the bottom of that waterfall. I was splashing around the in the water, and I couldn't reach the surface.

As the whole crowd turned and watched her, I had the chance to take a few gulps of air. And then she finally approached me; her eyes were entirely somewhere else. I looked down at her seriously, but her gaze was fixed on my forehead.

"Dearly beloved," stated the minister, one who I had never seen before. Angela was looking down at our feet now, as he continued talking in a monotonous tone. I looked out into the crowd of people, spotting my cousin in the back of the tent. He grinned wickedly at me, his teeth sharp like a snake's. I shivered.

Absentmindedly, I scanned the rest of the crowd. A sea of faces I barely knew. Chase and Luke both laughed when I looked at them, some sort of inside joke. Selena the Harlot stuck her tongue out at me. Gina waggled her fingers at me, and my father winked. The frog croaked once more.

"Gill?" the minister prodded me. "Do you… take her to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Uh, yes. I mean, yes, of course, er, I do."

_Classy_.

"And do you, Angela, take Gill to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

She looked at me, an outright grimace on her face. And for a moment, I was sure she was going to cry. I wanted to tell her to snap out of it, and to just deal with me for at least one season. And it would all be over. She would never have to put up with me again. But it was obviously too late. Here we were, at the altar already, with too many things left unsaid.

That's probably why she didn't give the minister an answer. That's probably why she opened her mouth, closed it, shook her head, and ran, her hefty dress in her hands the whole way.

**A/N: Dang! Unexpected. Anyway, sorry to leave you all on a cliff-hanger/depressing sort of note, but don't you worry my dearies. I shall give you your happy ending (or will I...?) Let me know what you thought!**


	12. The Aftermath

**A/N: Wow! So it's been a while, hasn't it? I can't express how sorry I am that I have neglected this story (and all of my stories...) for so long. Yada, yada, blah, blah, this is where I tell you about how busy I've been, la la la. Okay, on with the story~**

Grade school. There was a shy, tiny girl in my reading class named Celia whose parents owned the town library when we were about five or six. She had eyes the color of freshly grown grass and hair that always reminded me of the wheat field near the waterfall. When she laughed, it was like a thousand tinkling bells ringing in unison, all with different pitches that flowed together like instruments in a symphony. I was in love with her.

I one day asked her if she wanted to share a pillow while the teacher read _Goodnight Moon_ before nap time. She said no, so I punched her in the arm. She ran away, crying, her dress bundled in her hands.

Since then, I decided never to become involved with women until I understood them. And now, as I watched Angela run away (in a very similar manner, might I add), I realized that I'm not much different from five-year-old Gill. Well, except for my intellect and great hair, of course.

The audience was pitifully silent, as if they were waiting for me to dismiss them. A few patrons awkwardly cleared their throats, but I wasn't about to do anything. So instead, I turned my back on them and waited, my body feeling frozen.

So I was left at the altar. So what? What else did I expect, for her to suddenly jump into my arms like the fairy tales? No, she made it clear that night of the bachelor party that she wanted nothing to do with me. So why was I so devastated?

By the time I turned around again, the chairs were empty, yet I still didn't want to leave. So maybe I would never be the mayor of this God forsaken town… it was a nice dream. Maybe my father would give the job to Gideon.

Involuntarily, my mind floated to Waffle Town up in flames, with the Devil himself cackling from his almighty throne next to my father. I shuddered. Hopefully there was some other worthy candidate.

I sighed. _Woe is me_. So this is what it felt like to be heartbroken… if that's what one would call it. I just couldn't help but feel my lips tingle as I thought of her kiss that night at my uncle's house. Why was she such a… tease? Was it all part of her plan to humiliate me? That kniving little she-devil!

Unhappily, I made my way back home. I was not very excited to see the puppy-dog eyes on my family members, patting my back and telling me that everything would be okay, but I couldn't stand in that spot any longer.

"Oh, Gilbert," my father said as I entered the house. His lower lip protruded practically to his chin as he patted my back. I shrugged him off.

"I don't really want to talk right now."

He nodded knowingly as I pushed past him, thankful that none of my other family members seemed to be in the area. I ran up the stairs two at a time and shut myself in my room.

I don't know when it was that I fell asleep, but it was pitch dark when I woke up. I took a look out my window to see practically the whole city was dim, besides the lights of the Sundae Inn. My stomach gurgled. I don't know what it was about those inviting, warm lights, but I slipped on some shoes and left the house. No one would be up at this ungodly hour, anyway.

And I was right. The only person who occupied the Sundae Inn was Chase, who sat idly on a bar stool with his back to me. As the door slammed shut, he jumped a little and whirled around, his face angry. But when he saw it was me, his expression eased. I guess being humiliated in front of the whole town had its perks.

"Oh, hey Gill," he said, looking at the floor. I nodded my head and approached him, unsure of why I had left my cave- er, I mean, bedroom. I was perfectly okay there in my little bubble, and now as I saw his hesitant demeanor, I just felt weird. But I sat down nonetheless. "Tough day, huh?"

"You could say that," I commented as he stood and drunkenly walked behind the counter.

"Getting a drink?" he asked, his eyes bleary. I shrugged. I was already here, so it couldn't hurt, could it?

"Sure, why not."

He turned his back and rummaged through a drawer; a bunch of glasses clinked together as he did so.

"Bitches, huh?" he slurred as he poured some sort of liquid over some ice cubes and handed it to me. How was I supposed to respond to that? Instead of saying something, I sipped my drink and coughed loudly. He snickered a little.

"Eh, don't worry about it. She'll probably turn out like the rest of them."

"How are the rest of them?" I asked unknowingly, feeling like a child asking his father for girl advice.

"Irritating. It's always _nag, nag, nag_. Only a matter of time before that side comes out. Especially with Angela, she always seemed like the controlling type," he responded.

Even though he was just trying to make me feel better, I felt like defending her. Why? Was I some sort of masochistic freak? I needed to shove all thoughts of her out of my head and into a wastebasket. No more Angela. Nope, this was an Angela-free zone.

"Sure. So what is this?" I asked, swiveling the contents of my glass. I was afraid to try it again.

"Just vodka on the rocks. Good, huh?" he mumbled, taking a sip of his own drink as well. I nodded but on the inside I was definitely disagreeing. It tasted like someone put out a cigarette on the back of my throat.

Chase looked down at his watch and sighed.

"Well, listen man, I better be getting to bed. Maya always complains that I wake her up at 'ungodly hours of the night'." He air-quoted for emphasis. Shaking his head, he continued. "Sorry about today. I'll see you some other time."

I nodded gratefully, secretly happy to be leaving. The feeling of emptiness seemed to encompass me again and all I wanted to do was go back home and crawl into my bed and never ever return. Ever. So I left with a wave and mustered up some energy to walk back to my house when I saw Elli heading down the steps from the Town Hall. Maybe it was a mirage? At this point, I wouldn't put that past me. It wasn't until she was right in front of me that I figured I wasn't nuts.

"Gill? What're you doing out here?" she asked. I shrugged.

"You know… just… hanging," I said, looking around as if it was obvious. I wasn't about to tell her I was chumming it up with Chase in the bar. "I could ask you the same question."

She looked back towards the Town Hall and sighed. There was something strange in her calm demeanor, something I couldn't quite put into words.

"Well, just finishing up on some last-minute paperwork. It's been pretty hard trying to get things done with just one person around there, you know?" she asked, her voice rather flat. I shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I haven't been around. Just difficult with everything going on, you know how it is," I replied, shoving my hands into my pockets. She nodded curtly.

"Sure, I do," she responded, her voice distant. That's when it hit me. She wasn't giving me that puppy-dog look everyone else was. She wasn't apologizing for my mishaps or asking if I was okay. She stared at me, completely deadpan like the audience during a Carrot Top prop show. It gave me the creeps.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, feeling my brow knit as I talked.

"Listen, Gill," she said, her voice carrying that motherly tone I hadn't heard in forever. "I know that the marriage was a hoax."

"What are you – huh?" I sputtered, unsure of how to react in a situation like this. With Gideon, it was easy to just tell him to buzz off and give him a reward to keep his mouth shut (like a dog, my God) but Elli… she had morals and all that junk. And I didn't despise her.

"Well your father told me that he wanted you to get married before becoming mayor," she began. "And then when you were engaged to her about… oh, I don't know, a few days? I figured something was up."

I looked at the ground, not daring to look into her eyes as she mapped out the last few months of my life.

"And then you stopped coming to work, and that one day that I asked you if you were excited to get married and you just… weren't." She looked at me with a strange look. It wasn't sad, it wasn't angry; it was a look of pity that was almost haunting. I could feel my lips form a tight line as I looked into her eyes. "Look, I'm not going to judge you. I know how much you wanted to be mayor. But you have to say something. You have to come clean. Or else your father's unhappiness will forever guilt you."

"Yeah, but…"

"What is there to argue about? You've seen it, I know you have. After your mom died, I could tell he had lost something. And when he saw you and Angela together, I'm sure it made him very, very happy. You have to tell him the truth. Or else he will lose faith."

I remained silent. Of course she was right, when was she not? I could tell that Angela and I reminded him of he and my mother. I just refused to acknowledge it. As I contemplated this in my head, she turned her back and walked away. Normal Gill would have ran after her and tried to explain himself. Normal Gill would have tried to look less like a dick. But New and Improved Gill didn't feel the need. So he walked home, uh, I mean… I walked home.

After a few hours of sleep, I awoke feeling worse than I had felt last night. As the conversation with Elli the All-Knowing flooded back into my head, I felt a sense of unending doom engulf me. I couldn't even think of telling my father that the whole thing was a fluke. But as I descended down the stairs that morning, I realized that I didn't have to.

Angela stood in my living room, a sullen look on her face as she talked to my father. My heart dropped into my lower intestine as I snuck back up the stairs. I knelt at the edge of the stairs and strained my ears.

"… and I knew that he liked me, but I also knew you would… give him the mayor position, if he got married."

"Mhmmm," my father murmured.

"So… I… I pretended to like him, so that he could become the mayor. And so I could… well, you see, I've been poor my whole life. And so I pretended to have interest so that… I could live a wealthy life. And I know that was wrong of me and that is why I ran. I'm so sorry, I really am."

I audibly sputtered, completely dumbstruck by everything she had just said.

"Gilbert?" my father called, his voice warbling. I could always tell that he was angry when his voice shook like that. I rose dejectedly and headed down the stairs, looking at Angela the whole time. She refused to look me in the eye. "Was all of that… was it all true?"

My father looked from Angela to me, his brow knit in pure frustration. I opened my mouth to say no, to defend Angela one more time, and to make Elli proud. But as I looked at her pathetic face, I remembered the night of my bachelor party. And of course, I remembered the way she looked as she ran from the altar not even twenty-four hours before. So instead, I said,

"Yeah, it's all true."

For a moment, Angela and I locked eyes. But then it was my turn to look away. She should have seen it coming.

"I better go," she said after a moment. "I'm really sorry, for everything."

And then she left, leaving my father and I silent in the living room.

**A/N: Muahahahaa. And you thought I was finished, didn't you? Wrong wrong wrong. Okay well, I love all of you loyal readers and reviewers and hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	13. Godzilla

**A/N: Okay, first of all... Can I just say that I am SO RIDICULOUSLY SORRY for stringing you guys along on this wild, dramatic ride and then totally leaving you? I feel so bad. I totally just reread this whole story and felt a longing urge to finish it. I feel so bad that I set up all this drama and then completely stopped updating. I am so sorry. Anyway, I know this chapter isn't the most exciting but it's totally a set up to lead to the next chapter, which will hopefully be the last. I am so happy that I've had such awesome, loyal readers who have stuck with me (and Gil!) through this whole thing. You guys rock. Seriously. Well, here you go!**

My father stood in one place, dumbstruck, just minutes after Angela had slipped out the front door. He looked more devastated than I had, and I was the one who just lost a wife. Well, "wife". Faux-bride. Whatever.

"I can't believe it," he said, shaking his head very slowly. His eyes were wide and glossy and for a moment, I honestly thought he was going to burst into tears. "How could she… how could she _do _that to you?"

My breath caught in my throat as I opened my mouth to respond. That was just _it_… she didn't do anything to me. Well, besides leave me. _I _was the one who conned her into marrying me. _I _bribed her. _I _staged all of the fake dates, fake laughter, fake attraction… I was the bad guy.

I was the Gideon of Waffle Town. I fought the urge to gasp appallingly at the thought.

I stared at my father, my vision suddenly becoming blurry. I fiddled with my contacts, wondering if maybe a little speck of dust had maneuvered its way into my eye. Wait, no, what was this? Water? Tears?

I had officially reached rock bottom. My father patted my shoulder woefully.

"Son," he croaked. "Don't cry. You'll find someone… I promise. You're such a wonderful gentleman."

I shrugged his hand off. I couldn't listen to this nonsense any longer.

"No," I told him fiercely.

"Gilbert! Don't blame yourself for this, this wasn't your faul-"

"But it _is_ my fault. I ruined everything!" I shouted, taking the gold pendant that he had given me just the day before and slipping it off of my neck. "I don't deserve this."

"But, why…?"

"Because Angela's lying." The air in the room was very still. My father looked at me incredulously as I shoved the pendant into his hand. "I… I bribed her into marrying me. I told her I'd buy her a house if she would only agree to stage a fake wedding, and a fake divorce, and… It was all me. I have no idea why she lied to you."

My father shook his head slowly, refusing to believe that his son was a smarmy git. But all I could do was look down at the ground. From behind me, I heard a rather unnerving throat-clearing. I whirled around to see my whole family literally staring at me, mouths open, eyes wide. Except Gideon. His expression was in between a smirk and a frown. Happy that my life was ruined, yet sad because he wouldn't be receiving half my monthly salary as mayor. Asshole.

The silence in the living room was literally driving me insane. I briefly considered running up to my room and shutting myself in, never to return. But for some reason, I was rather sick of my man cave. I had spent way too many hours in there, pacing, sleeping, and just plain feeling sorry for myself. Not anymore.

I left through the front door and walked, fast. I had no idea where I was going. Before I knew it, Caramel Falls was up ahead, as well as all the abandoned wedding decorations. Apparently no one felt the need to clean up. Apprehensively, I approached the area, willing my mind to stay clear from the memories I had collected here at the falls.

Instead, I stared solemnly at the wedding decorations. And suddenly, I was angry. Not at Angela, not at my father, or even Gideon (well, I was always angry at Gideon so I guess it didn't really count). No, I was angry at myself, for once.

Without thinking, I took a folding chair and threw it. Obviously it didn't go far… as many have pointed out, I'm rather thin and twig-like. But it felt good. I took another one and threw it, this one landing in the river. _Pollution shmollution, _I thought. This was rather fun.

I took a handful of the cyan canopy and ripped it, revealing a gaping hole. I laughed. And then I did it again. I did it until the whole canopy was like a giant piece of Swiss cheese. And then I kicked the metal rods that were holding it in place. I giggled as the canopy came down like a holy parachute.

I shoved my fist through the cake. I kicked over tables. I felt like freakin' Godzilla.

I didn't stop until everything was completely in ruins. And then I sat down and stared at it all, like a child suddenly realizing the damage he had done. But I didn't care. I wasn't going to be mayor, I had no wife, my family most certainly despised me… who cares if I ripped apart some pointless decorations? It's not like they were going to be put to good use.

Restlessly, I left the scene and attempted to avoid looking at Angela's house. It was rather hard. Instead, I found myself gravitating towards it, until I was at the front door. What would I say to her, though? I'm sure she would find out soon enough that I told my father the truth. And then an idea popped into my head. Hurriedly, I ran towards the nearest open shop, which happened to be Off the Hook. Immediately I was knocked backwards by the scent of day-old fish.

"How can we help you?" Toby asked, his slit eyes looking at me with pity. I snorted.

"Could I borrow a pen and paper, please?" I asked impatiently, dying to get out of this disgusting place. There were piles of fish… _everywhere. _And what is that, in the corner? Green and stringy…? _Seaweed. _There was _seaweed _on the floor. What kind of establishment was this?

After a moment of waiting, Toby emerged from the back room with my utensils. I could barely choke out a goodbye as I burst out of the door and jogged back towards Angela's house. Hurriedly, I scratched out a note.

_Angela_,

_I told my father the truth. My half of the bargain still stands. The money for your house will be in the Town Hall under your name._

I pushed it through a slat in her door and scurried off, hoping that she didn't see me. And with that, I headed for the Town Hall, not very eager to see Elli's disapproving eyes staring at me.

Fortunately, she was actually rather happy with my news about telling my father, even while I was clenching my fists just thinking about it. How would I ever show my face in that house again? Maybe I could just dye my hair and people would think I was Gideon. There were so many Hamilton's in that house, I don't think they would even notice if there were two black-haired boys running around.

"So, have you talked to her…?" Elli inquired. She was actually the first one to ask me anything about Angela. Everyone else usually just asked me how I was doing after the whole 'ditched at the altar' thing. I actually felt quite like a girl. I mean, has anyone ever seen a movie where the _guy _gets left at the altar? Probably not. But I digress.

"No," I stated bluntly as I deposited the money to Angela's name. "But I wrote her a note."

I swore I saw Elli roll her eyes. "How juvenile," she told me jokingly.

"I just… _can't _talk to her," I told her, pulling at my tight collar. Just thinking of Angela made me rather uncomfortable.

"Oh, my," Elli said, placing a hand on her chest as if she was winded. "You like her, don't you?"

"No," I retorted, clenching my teeth. But this didn't keep the grin on Elli's face from growing even wider.

"You _do_!" she shouted, clapping a little bit. Now it was my turn to roll my eyes.

"But I don't," I told her as I sunk my chin into my hand and felt rather sad. It was true, I didn't like Angela. No, not at all. But… _love_? That might have been a better word for her to use. I sighed hopelessly.

"Gil," she said rather quietly, touching my arm with her dainty hand. "You… you look so upset."

"I know," I replied, already feeling pathetic as it was. "I just… I never thought anything would actually happen, you know? I didn't think I would… feel… like… _Oh _this is just ridiculous. This is really not okay," I rambled angrily, running my hands through my disheveled hair.

"Go on," she coerced me.

"I mean, what am I supposed to do, huh? _She's _the one who kissed me first that night in Creep Village and _she's _the one who snuck into my window, and when I finally tell that she-devil that I like her she just _stands _there and _looks _at me and she's all, 'Have you been drinking' and I'm just thinking 'Of course I've been drinking, how else would I have the courage to tell you all of this?' but then she just doesn't say anything. And then she leaves me."

Elli looked utterly lost, but rather amused. "What's Creep Village?"

"Never mind that," I sighed. "I think I just need to leave. I need to face my family sometime…"

She nodded all-knowingly and smiled a little. She muttered, "I'm glad you did the right thing, Gil."

"Thank you," I told her, feeling red in the face. She waved a small goodbye as I headed for the door, hands shoved in my plaid pockets. Looking down at my old shirt and non-ironed shorts, I grumbled. What a mess I was. I remember the days when I couldn't even leave the house without ironing my clothes. What has become of me?

Slowly, I approached my house. It loomed before me like an old, haunted castle; ready to scare the living hell out of me. When I pushed open the door, the only person who was there was my cousin, sitting on the couch.

"Ah, you finally decided to show," he said, his back turned to me. "After that hilarious confession, I wasn't sure you'd want to show your face in this house again."

His black head of hair didn't even turn to look at me as he spoke. What if I wasn't the one to come in through the door? What if he just started spewing out all this evil nonsense, and it wasn't even me coming into the living room? I laughed at the thought.

"Whatever," I told him as I headed for the stairs. "It had to be done."

"Sure," he said, shaking his head a little. "I mean, did you really think it would work out, anyway? Did you actually think you could pull off a great stunt like that?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I just stood there and stared at him, trying to think of some sort of comeback. But what was the point?

"And poor you, you were actually beginning to like the girl, weren't you?" he asked, referring to Angela as if she was just any other loser on the street. I shook my head.

"Shut up," I said as I headed up the stairs and locked myself in my room. _Really_? I thought to myself. _'Shut up'? Was that the best I could come up with?_

I guess it didn't matter. In a matter of hours, my extended family would probably be gone and it would just be my father and me. As much as I wasn't looking forward to that, I was more concerned with never seeing Gideon ever again.

With a large sigh, I plopped onto my bed and rested my head on the billowy pillows. Sleep seemed to be hard to come by, but the exhaustion I felt made it quite easy to fall into a light nap.

It was only a few moments before I was interrupted by a _thwack. _And then another. Angrily, I sat up and groggily shouted, "_What_?"

Another _thwack_. Fitfully, I glared at the door, hoping that whoever was behind it would just sense my anger and go away. But nothing happened.

It took me a full three minutes to figure out that the noise was coming from my window. Sighing, I stood up and headed for the window, poking my head out with a frown. Just as a rock had been hurled in my direction. I felt a jab on my forehead, almost right where I had been hit the first time I found a culprit at my window.

"Really?" I asked incredulously, before I opened my eyes to see Angela standing there, note in hand.

**A/N: Ah! It's almost over! **


	14. Hospital and Epilogue

**A/N: HERE IT IS! The final installment of Cupid's Chokehold! It's rather long, but the second half of the chapter is the "Epilogue". I didn't really want to make an extra chapter for it so I just hooked it on to this one. I hope you guys enjoyed this story, and I'm so happy I've had so many loyal readers this whole time. You guys are awesome. I'm so happy with this story and I hope to write another, soon! I just have to come up with ideas. Hahahaha. Anyway, enjoy.**

Without thinking, I shut the window. No, not shut, I slammed it. I know I was acting like a child, but… I was angry. She led me on, and when I finally told her that I kinda, sorta, had maybe a little tiny smidgen of "feelings" for her, she completely shut me down. Rubbing the throbbing spot on my forehead, I sat back down on my bed and waited for another…

_Thwack_! That one sounded like a huge rock. Angrily, I opened the window and shouted, "_What do you want?_" I didn't care if it was like, twelve in the morning. She was disturbing the sleep that I so desperately needed, and for what?

"Can we talk?" she asked in a small voice, rock clutched in her hand. I sighed and leaned against the windowsill.

"About what?" I asked, playing dumb. "I already sent you that note, what else do you want from me?"

She looked down at the ground, seeming rather hurt. Good riddance. But at the same time… I just wanted to hug her. She looked so tiny down there, and I could tell she hadn't been getting too much rest since the wedding. The cowlick in her hair had grown in size and her clothes were rumpled on her skin. _She probably smells like cow dung_, I thought to myself. But instead of chuckling at the notion, that thought made me feel even sadder.

I really need to make up my mind on how I feel about this damn girl.

"Can I just come up?" she pleaded. I sighed, not wanting to haul her up the wall again. Plus, she would probably get my white sheets all dirty. "Or… can you come down?"

"Fine," I said curtly. Without another word, I turned on one heel and headed for the stairs, careful not to make much noise. Much to my dismay, my shoes squeaked painfully with each step I took. As soon as I reached the stairs, I realized that I wouldn't be able to make it. Gideon was tossing and turning on the couch, most definitely still awake. _I thought they would have left by now_, I pondered to myself. _Nothing to see here, anyway_.

Carefully, I headed back to my room and popped my head out the window. "Gideon's asleep on the couch downstairs," I told her. She pouted a little.

"You could use the window…?"

I snorted. Seriously? This girl breaks my heart- er, I mean, ruins my plan to be mayor, and now she expects me to jump out of my window? I might be getting crazy, but I'm not that daft. I shook my head fervently.

"But… I know where to find a ladder! Just wait," she said, holding up a finger. I sat back down on my bed, bored, while I waited for her voice to pipe up once more. What was the point, going through all this trouble? What was she going to say to me, that she was now getting married to Calvin, and they would be moving away to some remote island to excavate precious jewels? Ugh. She already knows that I'm giving her the house, why did this have to be so difficult?

"Here!" she called, as I heard a small _thwump _against my windowsill. A large, wooden ladder was propped up, waiting for me to descend it. Did I mention I have a fear of heights? I know I only live on the second story of my house… but still. I could die.

"Ah, uh… okay," I replied, shivering a bit. Why was I doing this, again? Cupid must really have me in a freakin' chokehold. I'm losing my sanity.

Suddenly, I had a small flashback to the day where we jumped off the waterfall. I wouldn't have done that in a million years if it weren't for her… I couldn't be a coward. After all, _she's_ the girl, isn't she supposed to be the one that's scared of everything? Shouldn't I have to be the one to protect her? Despite myself, I laughed at the notion. "Here I go."

Cautiously, I backed out of the window, placing two feet on the ladder wrung closest to my window. "Uh…" I call to Angela. "I'm not going to fall, am I?"

She laughs a little, but stops when I turn around to glare at her. "No," she says with complete confidence. "You'll be fine!"

And I believed her. With more confidence, I took another step down, and another. _Crack_.

"What was that?" I cried, frozen in place. The wrung I was standing on didn't seem very sturdy.

"It's an old ladder," she said, her voice a little quieter now. "It's probably just creaking. Don't worry."

I placed my second foot, and another _crack _sounded through the air. And before I knew it, the wrung completely collapsed under my weight, and I went careening backwards onto the earth. "Shiiiiiiiiiit!" I cried, my voice dropping one decibel with each foot of air I fell through. I attempted to whirl myself around so I could at least fall onto my hands, but to no avail. I could hear Angela scurrying around, but I dropped sideways onto the ground with a thud, smacking my head in the process.

"Guh?" I mumbled, attempting to stand up. Angela kneeled over me, her head becoming a goopy blur. In an instant, my vision was completely skewed. Or maybe I was just closing my eyes? All I could feel was Angela desperately trying to pick me up, and finally succeeding.

"Oof," she grunted as she practically dragged me across bumpy surfaces. She was panting by the time we stopped, and she eagerly kicked a door with her foot. "Dr. Jin!" she called through the silence. Nothing happened for a matter of moments, and I could feel myself drifting into a deep sleep. Or unconsciousness.

"Wha-" came the voice of the sleepy doctor. "What is this?"

My eyelids fluttered open as soon as the hot sun hit my face. Feeling rather groggy, I rubbed my forehead repeatedly before sitting up. _Ow_.

Correction: _trying _to sit up. There was a huge cast on my arm. Memories from the night before flooded back to me, and when I finally opened my eyes I saw Angela sitting in a chair next to my bed, napping. _Damnit_, I thought to myself. _I thought I dreamt that_.

"What the hell," I said, loud enough to wake Angela up. My head pounded with each word I uttered. Her eyes popped open and in an instant, she was alert and standing at my side.

"What is it? Do you need anything?" she asked eagerly, her eyes bloodshot and drooping. I was silent for a moment, trying hard to remember exactly what happened. I glared at her suddenly, recalling that shoddy ladder that she convinced me to use.

"Why are you always trying to kill me?" I asked her exasperatedly, taking my head in my hands. Well, hand. Like I said, the other one had a bulky cast on it. Within moments, Dr. Jin was bustling into the room, pushing his thin glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Well, Gil," he began, scanning a chart that was hanging at the foot of my bed. "It looks like you're going to be okay."

I attempted to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Instead, I held up the cast and pointed to it. "So what's this, then?"

"Well, you sprained your arm on the fall," Jin told me, hooking the chart back onto the foot of my bed. "But we were afraid you were going to suffer from a concussion. Everything should be fine for now, but we'll keep you here for the day."

I nodded and watched as he bustled away. That man always seemed busy, even when he had no patients to tend to besides myself. I shrugged.

"I…" Angela said as soon as he was out of earshot. She looked rather melancholy. "I'm so sorry."

"You should be!" I shouted a little, ignoring my headache. "You convinced me to use a shoddy ladder! Did you rig it, or something?"

"Of-of course not!" she retaliated, wringing her hands together. And suddenly, she was crying. My eyes widened as I stared at her, trying to hold herself together. I decided against asking her what the hell she was crying about, because it was probably something I couldn't comprehend. So I waited. "I'm so sorry! About everything!" she sobbed frantically.

"Shh," I said quietly, trying to stop her from attracting the whole hospital's attention. Well, all of the two employees. "You don't have to cry," I told her rather unconvincingly. I had never witnessed such a spectacle.

"But… but I feel so horrible," she said quietly. I repressed the urge to tell her that she should feel that way. "For everything! I'm sorry for agreeing to the plan, I'm sorry for roping Julius into it, I'm sorry for letting everything get so out of hand…"

I frowned a little. This was not the apology I had been waiting to hear. My head pounded as she spoke and I just stared at her expectantly. More fat tears burst out of her eyes. "I… I'm sorry for ruining your chance to become the new mayor."

"No," I said suddenly, stopping her. For some reason, I wasn't even thinking about that. It all seemed rather trivial to me now. I wasn't even thinking about my position as mayor. I didn't need to think about it. I just needed her. "Will you shut up for a second?"

She stared blankly at me, the fresh tears continued to roll off of her chin and onto the hospital bed. Shakily, she answered, "What?"

"Shut up!" I yelled, feeling my three-year-old tantrum coming on. "Stop being sorry for all of that stupid crap! It was just as much _my _fault as it was yours."

Cocking her head to the side, she continued to give me that inquiring look. I sighed and smacked my forehead with my good hand. "You led me on. And then you blew me off. Isn't that what you should be apologizing about?"

"Well-"

"I mean, there was no way to misread those signs. It's not like you were kind of flirting with me but it could have just been friendliness. No. You kissed me, _twice_, and you coerced me to jump off that waterfall, and you actually listened to me when I told you about Gid, and…" I trailed off, realizing that I was getting rather heated. Blowing some hair out of my face, I added, "What the hell was that all about?"

She was speechless. Angela, the farmer who "saved" this town, was speechless. Cow-dung-and-vanilla-coconut-infusion-shampoo-girl was speechless. I tried not to smile. She had it coming.

I was fully expecting a smack on the face, or even a polite rejection like before. But she sat there, eyes glued on the floor, not budging. I grew rather uncomfortable just waiting for her response, but I had nothing left to say.

_Wait, _I thought to myself. _Did I seriously just say all of that… sober?_

What the hell have I done? I sound like a sissy girl with all of these feelings and junk!

Finally, she said something rather quietly. I cocked an eyebrow at her and leaned towards her a little, although I'm rather positive I heard what she said. Sighing, she looked me dead in the eye and repeated it. "You're right."

I loved hearing that. Damn, it felt good. This time, I smiled, and I smiled a smug friggin' smile.

"The thing is," she said slowly as she leaned on my hospital bed a little. "I just don't think I can…"

"Can what?" I asked fervently, feeling another rejection coming on. I felt a pang in my chest that I knew had nothing to do with my hospital condition.

"I don't think I can face your father," she told me. "You know, when I tell him that I actually _do _like his son, and would like to eventually marry him."

"I understand- wait, what?" I replied, staring incredulously at the farm girl. Did my ears deceive me? Maybe I really did have a concussion, and all of this was just an illusion. Or maybe I was still dreaming.

"I got scared that night that you told me," she confessed, sitting down on the white cot. "Cold feet, I guess?"

I rolled my eyes. "You put me through all that trouble, when all you could have done was waited on it a few hours? You… you're a man eater."

She laughed a little. "I'm just… not good with this sort of thing." I sat for a moment, remembering the Angela I saw that fateful day when my father told me I needed a wife. She was handing out gifts left and right, flirting like the men in this town were a dying race.

"What about all those gifts?" I asked her, scratching my head. "You gave gifts to every guy in town, practically."

"Yeah, well… it never really went much farther after that," she said, scratching the back of her head. "You're the first one that I actually, well, really talked to."

Her face became beet red as she looked away. And here I thought she was such a player! Kissing me and sneaking into my room and whatnot. "Well, you _did _break my arm. What are we going to do about that?"

"I'm sorry," she said genuinely. "I'll nurse you back to health, okay? I'm a wonderful nurse," she assured me. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you sure that this isn't just another plot to kill me?" I asked. She leaned over my hospital bed and inched her face closer to mine.

"I promise," she told me, before crashing her lips against mine. Not the smoothest pick-up line on her part, but I shrugged and went with it. Cow dung or not, she was finally mine.

-~- **Epilogue **-~-

"Is everything set up?" I asked, for the millionth time.

"Yes, Gil."

"And did you advertise? Do we know how many people will show?"

"I'm sure it'll be a great turnout."

"Good."

Needless to say, I was acting like a bumbling idiot. Everything was seemingly going great, but _that_ was just the problem. Nothing ever goes well. There is always chaos. So… where was it? I paced and paced, wondering if anything was left forgotten, but my mind failed me. It seemed as though everything was, for the time being, perfect. I shuddered at the thought, wondering if I was jinxing the whole thing just by saying that word. _Perfect_. Bleck.

My father shortly forgave me after the mayor fiasco. Reluctantly, might I add. He used a lot of fatherly phrases such as "I'm not mad at you, I'm disappointed in you" and "You're going to have to earn my trust back" and all of that. I knew the spiel. Not to say I wasn't sorry about the whole thing, but I wasn't one to beg for an apology. I just had to deal with the silent treatment for a while, and tell my father the whole truth.

We haven't talked about my position as mayor yet, though. I'm not going to push the subject. It is my wedding day, after all.

"How does my tux look?" I asked him, turning around for the hundredth time. Luckily, Aunt Himoltana decided to stay away from the sewing machine. She made the floral arrangements, instead. Which were, to be frank, rather eccentric. But I let it slide.

"Very sleek," my father commented as he scuffled around the room, looking for something. My tux was plain black and very neatly ironed, with shiny shoes and a gold vest. Angela decided to go for a traditional white dress this time, with gold accents. So I've heard. I haven't seen the actual thing, yet.

"Oh, this is so exciting," Julius commented from the corner of the room while he held his camera up. "Say cheese!"

Awkwardly, I gave the camera a thumbs up as he snapped a photo. How else are you supposed to pose by yourself? "Oh that's just perfect," he mumbled as he walked around in a circle, shaking the Polaroid.

"We've got five minutes," Gideon called from outside my room. He poked his head in briefly, probably to ridicule me, but instead he left promptly when my father gave him a glare. The old man really takes after me.

"Are you ready?" he asked me, approaching me rather sheepishly. "I know we've been through this once before… but you've really proved to me that you can be trusted these past few months. You're such a wonderful son. I'm so glad you found someone to be your 'partner in crime', heh."

He held out the pendant with the tree, branches outstretched majestically. "Oh," I replied, taking the pendant in my hand. I grasped the cold metal between my fingers before slipped it on and hiding it under my tux. "Thank you, dad."

He smiled and enveloped me in a crushing hug. "Oh Gil, you're growing up so fast! Next thing you know, you'll be all old and wrinkly like me!"

_Click._ Julius took another picture. Scowling, I gave him a pointed look. "Really?"

"Sorry, it was just such a cute moment!" he replied, giggling a bit. I rolled my eyes.

"Let's go!" I said eagerly, heading out of my room and down the stairs. There was my whole family, staring back at me. This time around, I felt… good. I felt safe. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

We marched like a parade up to the church. For _this_ wedding, Angela and I decided to do everything different than what we had planned before, including the venue. Truthfully, I liked the church better, anyway. It was more traditional, and there was no chance of any crazy mishaps, like the water from the waterfall drenching the set up, or a sudden windstorm, or whatever.

We arrived at the large wooden doors of the church and I gave a great sigh, attempting to calm my nerves. My father grasped the handle and opened the door for me.

"Go ahead, son," my father urged me as I walked up to the aisle alongside Julius, who could barely contain his happiness. My father ushered everyone to their seats as I stood, waiting for those doors to open. I barely noticed the eager audience, probably wondering why we were having a second wedding. Half the people there were probably just waiting for another disaster to happen. Bunch of scandal-starved townsfolk, that's what they are.

I stood for what seemed like eternity, fidgeting and staring at Julius, who kept nudging me and wriggling his eyebrows. Yuck.

Finally, a beam of sunlight washed through the church room as Angela emerged through the doors, looking rather radiant in her sparkly gown. The dress flowed behind her as the string quartet in the corner began the wedding march. And thus the ceremony began. The townspeople watched intently as the pastor spoke and as Angela and I looked at each other. I winked at her secretively and she stuck her tongue out a bit as we waited for the important parts. We are really mature, obviously.

"Do you, Gilbert Hamilton, take Angela to be your lawfully wedded wife?" asked the pastor, after the reading of the traditional Waffle Town vows.

"I do," I said, staring at her intently and ignoring the giggles from the townsfolk who heard my real name. Angela smiled and squeezed my hands between hers. For once, her hands weren't caked in dirt.

"And do you, Angela, take Gilbert to be your husband?"

"I do," she said almost immediately, as if to make up for the last time we were asked this question. I secretly laughed to myself.

"Ladies and gentleman, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton! You may now kiss the bride!"

I smiled at my almost-fake-but-now-real-bride and lifted her veil, happy to say that this was the real thing. She was finally mine. I kissed her sweetly before pulling away and staring at the audience, who clapped and wiped away twinkling tears.

After a few shared moments at the church, everyone headed to the Sundae Inn, where the reception would be held. Chase was busy doling out drinks and festive food in the corner while the rest of the townies milled around. Angela and I sat at a table and sipped champagne with our plates of cake, surprised that the wedding was such a huge success. All of the townsfolk were laughing and mingling as some low music played in the background.

"How did we pull that off?" she asked, as if reading my mind. I shrugged and took a bite of cake.

"Beats me," I replied, not bothering to chew my food. I smiled a cake-filled smile at her and took her hand. "But I'm glad."

She laughed loudly and pulled her hand away, disgusted. "Chew your food," she whined, taking another sip of her drink. It was silent for a few moments, before she said, "I'm really glad it went so well."

"Me too," I told her in all seriousness. I leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Plus, for once you don't smell like cow poop. So that's a plus," I told her. She crinkled her nose at me.

"Shut up," she told me. Somewhere in the Inn, we heard a few clinking noises.

"A toast!" my father called from a corner table, standing on one of the chairs with difficulty. Flashbacks from my ladder fall plagued my mind but I shoved those aside and watched as my father tipped from side to side. After being silent and inquisitive for more than a few moments, he finally thought to say, "To Gil and Angela!" He seemed rather intoxicated. Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses together while cheering and shouting "here, here!" We stared at each other and blushed profusely.

The rest of the night went by, weirdly enough, smoother than anyone could have ever expected. Well, besides the drunk people. Needless to say, I never wanted to see my cousin Gideon attempting the worm, nor did I want to see Angela's mother trying to hit on Jake, whose wife was sitting right next to him.

After some rather interesting conversations with several townsfolk and family, the clock struck midnight and the townspeople began bumbling back to their homes, not eager for the workday to start tomorrow. Angela and I headed back to my home to pass out before my father caught up to us, huffing and puffing.

"Gil, a moment?" he asked, seemingly having sobered up since the toast. I nodded and we walked ahead a little. I turned around and gave Angela a thumbs up as my father stared at me rather intently. "You've done a tremendous job, son. I'm so happy you found a wife. I think that… well, you have all the qualities of a mayor."

Adrenaline filled my body as he spoke. This was it! This was the mayor speech!

"You know exactly what to do in a crisis, and now you have a 'partner in crime,' as I like to call it," he said, chuckling a bit as he patted my arm. I snorted. "And you have definitely become more sociable. But, I must say… I believe that you need to have children before you become mayor."

"_What_?" I asked incredulously, staring my father down. Angela stopped walking for a moment and stared at us. "How could you do this to me? What do you mean, _children_?"

"Well, son, I had you before I was appointed the position of mayor. I only see it fit that you do the same. It teaches you a very valuable lesson in life, and I believe that it will help you grow," he told me. I felt my fists clench and unclench as I simply stared at him, bewildered, and wondering whether or not I should wring his neck. Suddenly, he laughed hysterically, clutching his large stomach as he wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh, your _face_! Priceless! I'm only kidding, son. I… oh Goddess, you looked so funny."

I stared at him, clearly not amused. He cleared his throat a little and continued his fatherly speech. "Anywho, I believe we should begin your training tomorrow. What do you say?"

"What? I mean, uh, yes!" I said, jumping up and down. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" In a very un-Gil-like gesture, I hugged him briefly before running over to Angela and telling her the news.

Maybe I would get my happy ending, after all.

Angela and I headed to my room and fell asleep quickly, and I was surprised to wake up the next morning with everything still intact. All of this was real. It wasn't some ridiculous dream I would wake up from. Smiling, I slipped out of bed and stretched before heading for my bureau to grab some clothes to slip over my boxers. I opened the top drawer, and…

_Nothing_. Frantically, I pulled out the other drawers. No clothes. Where the hell were my clothes? Fitfully, I scoured the room. Where else could they be? I even looked under the bed, for good measure.

"What is it?" Angela asked groggily as she sat up. I headed towards the window, ignoring her. There it was.

All of my clothes, strewn across the lawn. Some were even tied to sticks and waving in the wind, like some kind of _flag_. A large sign on the ground read "payback", in scratchy lettering.

"_Damnit, Luuuuuuke!"_

**A/N: Bahahaha. Had to end it with that. Anyway, you guys are awesome. Seriously. Let me know what you thought! **


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